Assorted Ravings of the Slightly-Weird

A Even Longer Hiatus

Ok. I am back after a really long self-imposed hiatus.

It's been more than 2 weeks since I last posted anything, and in those two weeks I've been on an emotional roller coaster. CTG came back to SG two weeks ago for his last trip to SG in a long while. Naturally I was thrilled to see him, and spent as much time as possible hanging out with him. (This is an up.)

Then, as his 6-day trip wound to a close, and as the other colleagues who came out with him showed no sign of disappearing, I got depressed at the thought of not being able to spend alone time with him. (This is a down.) And things got even worse as I realised he probably didn't even know/care about how I felt. (This is a super down.)

Plus, things at work got fucked up enough that on the Monday before he left, I was close to a breakdown and had to take a timeout in the restroom to cry. How pathetic is that? The pressure of dealing with a career that seems to not be progressing at all, along with the realisation that CTG was going to leave in slightly more than 24 hours, with little hope of meeting up again, combined to make me feel like shit. And after CTG left, things just got worse.

Anyhow, now I'm almost back to normal. I'm over the work thing. If I get the promotion, great; if I don't I'll make other plans. At least this is within my control. As for CTG, we've only spoken once since he went back, and that was for a work-related issue. We haven't spoken about anything else, and perhaps that's just for the best, since I just got over obsessing over one guy for 3+ years and I just cannot get into another obsession ever again.

So, I'm swearing off guys for a while. I'm sick and tired of rejection. I'm off to Latin America for a work trip today, so posts will be sporadic. Time to pack. Adios amigos!

Posted by scrabbyfoo at November 26, 2005 05:51 AM