August 07, 2006

Facelifts, Asslifts and More!

On Saturday night, we had an impromptu dinner that threw up some really interesting facts.

I'd been itching to cook for a while and I finally found some time on Saturday to cook so I made an Asian-inspired chicken stew (with basil and lemongrass), prawn fritters and mashed potatoes. At the same time, my cousin decided to make Penang laksa so we threw together a small dinner gathering at my place. (Yes, I have photos and I will try to post them soon.)

So anyway while at dinner, we started talking about facelifts and liposuction since my cousin-in-law is in the business. Along with the traditional liposuction, you can now do something called smart liposuction, where the liquefied fat that is sucked out then gets inserted elsewhere in your body. Recycling in the 21st century! You can now choose to augment (such a nice-sounding word) your boobs, your butt or even your privates. Yes, guys, help is on the way - you can now choose to put what was previously your beer belly into your privates to make it thicker. Heh. And, if you choose to put what was previously in your butt into your lips, people can then literally kiss your ass.

After liposuction, your skin could get a little saggy due to the decrease in volume. So why not try threading? Instead of the traditional (and very painful-sounding) stapling method, where you basically staple your loose skin together, you can now put threads that are then anchored to other parts of your body to essentially hoist up whatever is sagging. So, you can tighten your face by anchoring the skin to your scalp, and you can even lift your ass by inserting threads and tying it into a knot. The threads are really sutures that dissolve in about 2 years, but the effects can last up to 5. Essentially, you'd be a life-size puppet.

Just beware that you don't laugh too hard or do too many squats, cos the threads can break. Then you'd end up with half an ass hanging out of your pants.

Heh. Aside from this very entertaining dinner, the rest of the weekend was spent playing softball and hanging out with pblossom and friends at km8. Not much eye candy on show, and please, guys, stop wearing the Speedos already! I'd much rather imagine what you have under there, than see most of what's actually available. And most of you could do with some smart augmentation, if you know what I mean... But do try the signature drink, the Sarong Fly. It's yummalicious!

Posted by scrabbyfoo at August 7, 2006 05:28 PM
Comments

Heard about the fat recycling already wat. You never watching Dr 90210 on E! issit? If you don't have, you must get digitial tier or how would you know which blondes are going brunette and vice versa har, I ask you? Anyway, on a different note from fat suckiing, have to tell you about this cool thing. I call it Spiders Incarnation of Fetucinni Alfredo. Take 1 x jar of Marks and Spencer Cracked Black Pepper sauce. Boil the matching M&S linguine until succulent and tender, like a baby's bottom but more moist. Now sauteen onions (I like a ton) and garlic (I like that even more) then add the sauce (how much depends on how deep your pockets are),chopped ham and sliced button musshrooms and cooked linguine. Stir until piping hot. Am not kidding, it takes like the Real Thing.

Posted by: spider-three-eyes at August 8, 2006 03:46 AM

re speedos: u mean what's actually NOT available :)

Posted by: pblossom at August 9, 2006 08:39 AM