Assorted Ravings of the Slightly-Weird

"Wink Wink"

By now, almost every reader of this blog will have heard of Facebook. If you haven't already, then you should consider crawling out from that stone you've been hiding under to see this worldwide phenomenon.

Of course, every social networking site worth its salt will have its share of desperados/weirdos/creeps/lonely hearts looking to meet people. And Facebook has its fair share of online personals applications like Zoosk, Meet New People, Are You Interested?, etc etc.

But people, surely time and experience should have taught you that there are surefire ways to cause a person to say "HELL NO!" and move to another profile.
Such as...
1) Profile pictures that show you with your significant other. 'nuff said.

2) Profile pictures that show you with a bevy of girls. Ditto.

3) Profile pictures that are either hideous or unflattering. The former you can't really do anything about since it's the subject matter that's deficient, so either take a photo of something else like your feet (HAHA!) or just omit a photo entirely. The latter you can remedy: stop taking photos with your webcam that have the fishbowl effect, for example. And wear a shirt, damn it, unless you have abs to show.

4) Generic opening lines - like choosing "wink wink" from Zoosk. If you don't have the creativity to come up with something original instead of the default flirt, then you deserve to be passed up.

5) Cheesy opening lines that make a girl cringe. Like, "If I tie a string around your feet, will you be my ballon?". HUH???

I suppose the silver lining is that at the very least, these are good for a laugh :)

Posted by scrabbyfoo at June 26, 2008 11:37 AM