Assorted Ravings of the Slightly-Weird

Minority Report

Everytime I tell this story, people just burst out laughing. I don't know why really, it wasn't funny while it was happening!

But anyway I figure that the masses, much like the stock markets, are always right. So, here is the story of Murphy and his unintended eye surgery. And before anyone freaks out, Murphy is just the pet moose that resides in my car and listens to me bitch everyday about lousy drivers who don't know how to navigate a roundabout.

One afternoon, I picked up my car Sam from its regular service appointment and I was on my way to get Martha Wannabe. So there I was, happily driving along the road and just as I got off the phone with MW (to confirm her exact location) I looked at Murphy and there and then I almost had a heart attack. It's a miracle I didn't get into an accident.

Murphy's eyes had dropped off. He was hideous! Staring at me with no eyes, he was horribly disfigured. I was so distraught that I couldn't bring myself to look at him, and the moment MW got into the car I made her twist his head around to face the other direction because everytime I looked at my poor blind moose, I wanted to cry.

So, I called the service centre and proceeded to have the following conversation.

Me: Hello, I just picked up my car about 10 minutes ago from your service centre.
Friendly Service Man: Yes, how can I help?
Me: Erm, you know I have a toy moose in my car? Did you happen to see his eyes?
FSM: HUH?
Me: His eyes have dropped off and I was wondering if you saw it.
FSM: Well no... I took your car out for a test drive and I think the moose still had his eyes. Oh, but I did an emergency brake so maybe it fell off then.
Me: Ok, but I don't see it anywhere in the car. Can you ask your guys if they saw anything or threw anything away?
FSM: Er, ok Miss, I will ask my guys if they found a pair of eyes in your car.

Poor guy. He must have been astounded, but kudos to him for playing along and for entertaining me.

When I finally managed to get to my destination without accident, I proceeded to search every inch of my car. Thankfully I found Murphy's eyes - they had rolled under my front passenger seat. So I reattached them with some glue, but then I decided that the glue needed time to set so I would have to have some sort of bandage.

Unfortunately the only thing close to resembling a bandage in my car was my orange floral bikini...

And this was the final result:

Posted by scrabbyfoo at July 31, 2008 03:11 PM