Assorted Ravings of the Slightly-Weird

BQOTD

It's been a long time coming...

That's not to say that I haven't been thinking bitchy thoughts; just that I've been too lazy/out of sorts to blog in a while. But this was so funny I had to share it.

From my college roomie who says the funniest things in all seriousness:

"She's not old enough to be a cougar, but she could definitely be a puma."

HE HE HE.

Break My Stride

In the words of this song, last night I had the strangest dream.

The dream started innocently enough with my family and I being out for dinner, celebrating my parents' wedding anniversary. Then when I got home, I had to change out of my t-shirt. The next thing I knew, I woke up and found myself without my t-shirt on.

The dream had been so real that I actually took off my shirt in real life. How interesting! I guess I must have been getting hot under my blanket so that prompted the whole dream, but it's quite amazing that I could actually take off my shirt in my sleep.

Of course, this story prompts today's BQOTD, the first of which comes from my retelling my dream.

Me: So, I decided to put on my shirt again.
Her: Whatever for?
Me: Cos, erm... I wanted to be decent?
Her: Right. Decency. HAHAHAHAHA.

Gee, thanks :D

BQOTD

I am SO BUSY this week but I just had to take a few minutes off to write abt this.

From my good ol' pal, Lust, on our IM conversation:
Lust: My cousin X's house got banana tree.
Lust: Her parents gave us a bunch of bananas.
Lust: They are SO BIG lor.
Lust: They look like dildos that will really really hurt.

Hehehe. For stuff like that, it's worth taking a break from work.

Back to the grind. ARGH.

BQOTDs

Every time I get together with my gal pals, I come away with a great selection of BQOTDs to add to my collection. On Saturday I had brunch with 2 gal pals from back in the day who I've known since "puffing" was a term related to clothing instead of cigarettes but really only got to know much better after we left school. And we're all fairly bitchy so we had a great time catching up and cackling at each other's stories.

So without further ado, here goes. (Names have been left out to protect the guilty.)

1) "Don't all women like chocolate? If God was a woman he'd have made sperm taste like chocolate."

2) "Maybe he's so deep in the closet, it's a walk-in wardrobe."

3) "So my colleague said, 'I hope my son doesn't turn out to be gay. And if he does turn out to be gay, I hope he's a giver and not a taker.'"

4) "Eli? What kind of name is that for a Chinese kid? Don't you have to be Jewish to be called Eli?"

5) "That's why I date younger men. You have to catch them before they get tainted."

I'm sure there's more but for the life of me I can't remember any... Age, it really does kill the brain cells!

BQOTDs

I had dinner with some old friends on Tuesday night.

There are the friends that you need to keep in constant touch with, else you lose the connection and run out of things to say. And then there are those friends that you can not see for years on end but when you do meet up the friendship picks right back up from where it left off and the intervening years fall away in a flash.

Funnily enough, most of those in the latter category come from my early years. They're mostly friends from my school years, stretching from primary school all the way up to junior college. Maybe it was the shared trauma of school that led us all to bond the way we have, or maybe it was the fact that for the most part of school life you saw and interacted with these people on a daily basis for the majority of the day, unlike now where the levels of interaction are more diluted as individual lives fracture off in different directions.

Anyhow, I had a great time on Tuesday catching up with these gals. It was a night with lots of laughter and lots of quotable quotes.

1) From she who was interviewing for a teaching position:
Interviewer: Why do you want to teach here?
She: Because I don't want to teach at the top JCs.
(stunned silence)

2) From she who had her pants stolen and replaced with a pair of much shorter pants:
She: Somewhere there's a guilty pygmy walking around...

Ah, friends. What would we do without them?

P.S. Happy birthday L!

More Pressies and a BQOTD

I am a sucker for jigsaw puzzles. So, this looks like a great present! (HINT HINT.)

In fact, most of the stuff on this list looks interesting :) I like #5,#6 and #7.

And here is today's BQOTD.
Good friend: Ok I went home and looked at ALL her photos and she gets uglier in each photo. You have nothing to worry about.

HAHAHAHAHA.

This is why sisterhood rocks.

BQOTDs

Couple of BQOTDs to start the week off.

1) From drinks with a friend, discussing another friend.

Me: He's still young... he's, what, 24?
Guy friend: Yah. What was I doing when I was 24? Oh wait, I was married.

2) From dissecting a relationship with a friend.

Her: DTMFA, as Dan Savage would say.
Me: Who is Dan Savage??? And... what is "DTMFA"?
Her: Dump the motherf*cker already.

It's good to have straight-talking friends who can tell you what you already know you need to do but can't yet find the will to do. Especially when it's 2 in the morning and they're still patiently chatting with you.

Homeward Bound!

So, I'm a couple of hours away from starting on my journey back home. I have been away since the 22nd of September so it's been a pretty long trip. Some numbers:

1) Plane trips: 8
2) Train rides: 3 (train travel is FUN!)
3) Times I had to pack and unpack: 5
4) Friends that I met up with along the way: 11
5) Books I read along the way: 5
6) Stuff that I had to leave behind and get shipped back: A TON

Hehe. And no, not all the stuff that I bought was for me. I'm lugging back 3 cake pans for my sister and that's the bulk of the added weight. They're freaking heavy AND bulky. (Martha Wannabe, if you are reading this: GRRRRR. I had better get a cake a month for this!)

All in all it's been a fruitful trip, not just because I was able to catch up with people on the company dollar, but also because of all the work that I was able to get done. I had to make a presentation which went off pretty ok - at least I think so, since I'm still gainfully employed - and I managed to get my ideas across to most of my colleagues here in the US, which goes a long way into building a good working relationship. And now at least, some of them will be able to put my face to my name whenever I call or email them.

And, from last night's dinner comes today's BQOTD:
Friend: "All ACS guys are assholes. I've never met an ACS guy who is not an asshole. Ok, well, maybe not assholes but... (pregnant pause)

Yah. Assholes."

30 more hours before I reach home! Time to while it away by adding more stuff to my already-bulging luggage :D

BQOTD!

Just cos this category hasn't been updated in a while doesn't mean that I'm not bitchy anymore. I still am; it's just that there hasn't been anything original to bitch about for a while and I didn't want to sound like a broken record yelling at idiot drivers in Singapore who can't seem to learn how to drive around a roundabout.

Anyway, today's contribution comes from my colleague. We were going for our morning cuppa when we spied a dude walking around with a T-shirt that read "God make me jealous".

Colleague: "What kind of English is that?! 'God make me jealous' indeed. His T-shirt should say 'God make me dumb'."

BQOTDs and Photos Galore!

It's been a hectic weekend, what with a wedding to witness, flowers to prepare, bottles to finish and a NDP rehearsal to attend.

First off, the wedding. My friend of 20 years got married on Saturday (with the dinner on Sunday) and it was truly heartwarming to see her skipping down the aisle with her husband. Weddings are always joyous occasions but this was more so because these are two truly good people who deserve one another and their love, not just for each other but for all their family and friends, was obvious to everyone who attended. (Photos are here if anyone's interested - and if the quality is bad it's because I had to scan them from namecard-sized photos.)

As for the NDP rehearsal, this year's parade looks to be one of the better ones in recent memory. It'll be held at the Marina Bay because the National Stadium is being demolished in the name of progress. The new site's pretty good, except for the backdrop of construction work with the new IR being built across the bay but once that's done (assuming they keep the floating stage) it should be a great venue for outdoor concerts.

Ok enough spoilers for now. Just watch the parade - it'll be great!

And as for the BQOTDs, we have three.
1) From attending the rehearsal, where there was a contingent made up of PAP members in the marchpast:

A: If PAP's here, how come there's no opposition contingent?
B: If they showed up, it would be an illegal gathering.
(names have been left out to try and protect the innocent...)

2) From a shopping expedition with my family, outside the OSIM store where there was a fairly plump salesman:

Dad: This guy is so fat, how can he sell weight loss equipment? He should use the uZap.

3) From the wedding, where I caught up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, one of whom is a straight-talking doctor:

A: With all these crazy shifts, how do you sleep? Don't your sleep cycles get messed up?
B: Huh? Close your eyes, then it's night already!

Hehehe. I miss the good ol' days of school. But I'm glad that we're all still in touch, and that we've all come a long way together :)

Keeping Mum

So, we have this intern working out of our office for the next few weeks and it's been an interesting experience so far. This guy is supposed to be super-intelligent but if this is the case, I don't know it. Cos he keeps so quiet that it's as if he's non-existent. All I hear out of him is some occasional tapping on the keyboards.

But the most annoying thing about him is that he never replies audibly. Instead, all he does is a head roll. (Did I mention he's from India?) If you ask him a yes/no question, you get a head roll. If you tell him something, you get another head roll. As far as I can tell, the head roll for "Yes" is no different from a head roll for "No". It's exasperating. I can't tell if he understands what I'm asking and what his answer is if he does understand.

I'm just glad I'm not his mentor. I'd have throttled him by now, with all the head rolls. Don't get me wrong, this is not a racist thing - it's not the head-rolling that I mind. It's that he doesn't verbally answer. You can roll your head all you want or even flap your hands like a chicken by all means but just answer me at the same time, that's all I'm asking.

In fact, his mentor seems almost about ready to throttle him. And so, we have today's BQOTD, courtesy of a very frustrated analyst:

Frustrated analyst: "Diarrhea up here (pointing to her head), constipation down there (pointing to her mouth)."

Hahaha. For once, I'm glad I'm still a junior analyst. And, I wonder what happens if we ask him an open-ended question... Will his head drop off from all the rolling? Teeheehee.

BQOTDs and the Weekend

'tis the year of the Pig, so that means lots of "big 3-0" birthday bashes this year for us Snakes. There was one such celebration at eM on Friday night, which was where I got these QOTDs.

Guy: How much would you want to be paid to sleep with that guy? (Pointing at some angmoh.)
Girl: At least a million.
Guy: What? For 100k I'd let him poke my backside.

Later on...
Guy: I shouldn't be telling you all this but guys are like, when we have two hours to spare before picking our girlfriends up, we'll pay for it.
Girl: Why can't you just pick your girlfriend up and get it from her? For free!
Guy: Oh (pregnant pause while his mind struggles to deal with an alien concept)... yah.

I really have no other response to that, other than shaking my head.

Anyhow, it's been a great weekend. Hectic but great. In 72 hours, I managed to squeeze the following:

• Dinner with the folks
  
• Attended the afore-mentioned birthday party
  
• Supper with another group of friends
  
• Breakfast with my mom
  
• Made 5 pairs of earrings
  
• Hangout time with a girlfriend
  
• Had yummalicious kway chap in Joo Chiat
  
• A breakfast with my extended family
  
• Hangout time with my mom, going grocery shopping
  
• Some self-pampering time where I gave myself a hair treatment, facial scrub, body scrub AND foot scrub
  
• Chill out afternoon at the new yacht club and then by the pool
  
• A home-cooked dinner (made chicken stew)
  
• A movie

Gosh. It's no wonder I'm tired, but in a good way :)
Here's to a great week ahead!

Addendum: Here's the most interesting thing I learnt from work today, which is that the fear of Friday the 13th is known as paraskavedekatriaphobia.

Tioman and BQOTD

Sorry for the long absence, no excuses really.

Anyhow I spent the weekend in Tioman catching some sun. The diving continues to impress me, or maybe my standards (for Tioman at least) are set really low. Stuff that we got to see: cuttlefish, lots of reef sharks, blue-spotted stingrays, a turtle, boxfish. And, a bigass Titan triggerfish that almost attacked one of the girls.

Photos are here. Sadly, we didn't bring our underwater cameras so no fishy photos this time. Next trip will be before June so anyone who's keen, drop me a line.

And today's BQOTDs:
A: "You mean [insert name of cute Hollywood hunk] is gay? Well, at least life is fair..."

And:
B: "Sleep deprivation is SO NOT WORTH IT when you don't get any."

The Adventures of Silly Girl: Silly Girl Gets All Happy

Busy busy busy. Silly Girl has been keeping herself busy and now it's all finally come to fruition.

WHEE! :D

Silly Girl's happy. It's all coming together now.

And here's a couple of BQOTDs:

A: I don't need to picture my good friends stark naked bumping uglies!

You gutter brain, you.

B: I'm celibate.
C: Very funny. And I'm a virgin.

Heh.

BQOTD

QOT weekend:

Female A: It has to be wrong to be lusting after 18-year-old boys.
Female B: Why? They're not minors, it's not statutory rape anymore.

And you guys wonder why I'd spend weekends helping out at softball carnivals... Teehee.

QOTD

Today's QOTD is a doozy.

A: "Why are you doing this?"
B: "I don't know."

No shit.

I can think of so many other responses, other than this lame-ass one.

E.g.:
"Because I'm a jackass." (True.)
"Because some things never change." (True.)
"Because I want to." (Hm? Maybe true.)
"Because she's not putting out." (Hahahahaha. Ok, that's just being mean.)

And the clincher is...

"Because I can." (Definitely true.)

Hot off the presses, another BQOTD:
A: "So, he told her, 'everyone cheats.'"
C: "Yes everyone cheats."
(pause)
C: "But, men who get found out are idiots."

Hm. True that. Unless, it's part of their diabolical plan to get caught, get found out and get dumped. In which case, it's almost fool-proof. They rarely feel guilty because after all, they did get dumped. It leaves them free to go after someone else, and unless that someone else is good with timelines they can probably get away with the newbie never finding out either.

Unless (and I did say it was almost fool-proof), they somehow manage to find 2 idiots who are
a) stupid enough to hang on;
b) too proud to admit defeat;
c) too masochistic to stop taking all the shit;
d) too stubborn to give up, or;
e) some hideous combination of the above.

Oh oh, and I win! Not that I'm particularly happy about winning but still, who's to know what's going to happen in the future? In the meantime the cash will come in handy :D

QOTD

This one really takes the cake.

Over the ordeal that has been the past few weeks, I thought I'd heard it all from various friends but this one was so original, so succinct and so funny that I had to blog about it.

Him: He's probably fucking donkeys right now.

HAHAHAHAHA. Well put, that. Very apt on so many levels. Kudos to you for saying that :D

BQOTDs

QOTDs from the weekend:

1) On seeing a chick dressed in a blue tunic with a red belt over a pair of jeans, trying to dance with a clutch bag under her arm:

Her: That's so... ... 'This Fashion'.

HAHAHAHAHA.

2) Overheard in the restroom:

Random Girl: Your booby stains are so hot! I wish I had booby stains like yours.

Erm... yeah ok, whatever floats your boat.

BQOTD

From a friend, who realised that I just handed over good money for software:

Her: my god YOU PAID!
Me: I PAID.
Her: This PJ is messing up your internals.

Oooh. Low blow, that one.

I actually spent most of the day working. I'd almost forgotten how therapeutic it is (sometimes) to finish a model...

OMG, PJ really is messing with my internals!

Happy weekend, everyone :D

BQOTD

This was just too hilarious.

A: So what was this whole baby thing about?
B: Who the fuck knows?
A: I mean, I can guess the gist of it.
B: She's so ugly that he didn't want to have a kid with her.

(Non)BQOTD

It's been raining for more than 12 hours non-stop!

From the weather, let's go straight to our QOTD, which came from a discussion involving (ahem) STDs.

Friend: I think better find one and stick to him. I think it's God's way of telling us humans to behave.
Me: I found one but he's non-stick.

Time to head out and run errands in the rain... Whoohoo.

Random Stuff

Some random things while I gather up my thoughts.

1) QOTD: From my horticulturally-inclined friend, on Saturday night, as she described one of her housemates.

"His underpants sometimes have a brown patch on them, so we always say, 'A_____, wipe your ass, PLEASE!'"

Ewwwww.

2) My Lab snores... Almost as bad as my dad. I found that out the hard way when I took a nap in the living room on Saturday.

3) House-hunting is the biggest pain in the ass. If the location is good, the size of the bedrooms are tiny. If the layout's appealing, the units left are the crappy units. If the size of the bedrooms are big enough, there's no yard.

And then, when you find the perfect place, it's way out of your budget.

Sigh. I feel very very poor right now.

4) In a fit of I-dunno-what-I-was-smoking-but-it's-some-crazy-shit, I promised my brother-in-law that I would start training for and participate in a triathlon before I turn 30. OMG, what have I gotten myself into???

5) 3' 49" for my sudoku game, Evil level! :D

Wishlist and (non)BQOTD

These are just too cute! And very apt, given my current disposition.

(And I really should update my wishlist...)

I can't decide which one I like... Anyhow, those who are interested can find them here.

Also, 2 QOTDs. The first one, about 2007, comes from Serene, the wise one:

"Brand new start to a brand new year!"

Woohoo! I'll drink to that :D Girlfriends (and sisters of course) rock!

The second one, in response to my current MSN nickname, comes from a HOB:

"Girls suck... Boys lick."

Hahaha.

Peeves and Quotes

To the uncle at the 2nd floor coffee shop in the northeast corner of Lucky Plaza: if I say I don't want chilli OR green chilli, it means I don't want any sort of chilli in my noodles. It's not a free license to dump both red chilli paste and cut green chilli all over the bottom of my noodles so that I don't get to see it until I walk all the way back to my office and open up the container to eat my lunch.

GRRRR. I hate it when this happens. Morons.

Turning to funnier things, this QOTD came from hanging out w/ some friends at Que Pasa on Friday night.

Me: Oh you should come stay with me, my parents are away.
Girl #1: Oh cool. Sounds like fun.
Boy #1: Can I stay with you? I'm harmless anyway, I have a low sperm count.

29 And Counting!

Thanks to all those who sent me birthday wishes and presents! The sentiments were much appreciated. And thanks to my sister who prepared a really yummy sashimi dinner.

Next year, I'm throwing a huge-ass bash. All invited. Whee!

A couple of QOTDs today:
From Des, who was raving about a steakhouse she visited recently:
"If I could date a steak from Peter Luger for the rest of my life, I would."

From Serene, who replied after I said I was getting sappy in my old age:
"You've always been a closet sap."

Uh-oh... busted :D

QOTD and other stuff

Nothing much beats spending time with good friends and hanging out with the girls.

Today's BQOTD comes from dinner last night with a Berkeley pal:

"You have the propensity to be attracted to jackasses."

Yah, you know who she's referring to.

And during lunch, I spent a good 2 hours absorbing life lessons. Suffice it to say that I now have a fairly realistic (read: cynical) view of life and marriage and all that jazz.

It's a good thing I'm an optimist :) Happy Friday, y'all!

Quotes To Think About

Quotes galore today, I've been saving them up.

1) From one of my colleagues when I bragged about seeing manta rays on my dive trip:

"So what... I have a big dog and my uncle has moustaches...!!"

Which, translated into his native Spanish, is "Yo tengo un grande perro y mi tio tiene bigotes!!"

2) From a call I received today:

"Our analyst has a BUY on the company and her target price is $X, which is today's price so we're recommending that you take profit."

Girl, you need to be working in a different line.

3) From a TV show I watched recently:
M: Marriages don’t fail because couples get bored. They fail because, while they’re dating people pretend to be the person they think their partner wants and then, well, there’s only so long you can keep that up.

C: Maybe they are that person while they’re dating, but then they change.

M: People thinking that their partner will change, that’s another reason marriages fail. People don’t change. Least, not in any way that really matters.

Which is definitely worth thinking about. And lastly, on a not-unrelated subject,

4) From a friend:
"As a friend I'd advise you to respect yourself more and stop hanging out with me."

True, that. Pity things are hardly ever in black and white, but in multiple hues of grey.

BQOTD

When they put their minds to it, guys can say the bitchiest things.

From hanging out last night w/ new friends and semi-new friends came this gem of a BQOTD.

Him: Oh, she used to be hot. Guys used to go to her church just to see her. So hot that you would actually drool. Then, she discovered food.

Oohh. *meow*

Weekend Snippets

Lots of snippets today, all from the weekend.

1) I was wrong. We had to play at the god-forsaken hell hole after all. But it was a fairly nice day and the field was in as good a shape as I've seen it. We won again and ended the season undefeated. Woohoo. The team dinner last night was great fun; I love playing with this group of gals. Photos soon...

2) The combination of 2 tipsy guys and 1 toy moose (i.e. Murphy) makes for at least 15 minutes of hilarious conversation. Driving home from Butter Factory on Friday night, R & I were treated to 15 minutes of gut-busting conversation about the size of Murphy's nose and what it meant, which then led to the topic of monkeys of all things. I have never heard the term "promiscuous monkey" used so many times in that short a time span. FYI, the actual term was supposed to be "proboscis monkey".

3) Today's QOTD comes from my brother-in-law and if anyone can understand what he was trying to say, you get a prize of some sort.

Me: People say I'm kiam but I think you're even more kiam than me.
BIL: Me? People say you, but me is only you.
Me: WTF???

Q(s)OTD

From my office window it looks almost as if it's snowing. For those of you who are still in bed... you lucky buggers, I wish I were in your shoes.

What do you get when you combine colleagues and alcohol? Lots of office gossip and secrets that would never have been revealed if said subjects were not at least slightly tipsy. Last night we unearthed a treasure trove of secrets that should last us until the next overseas visitor pops by. And of course, given the amount of alcohol and the number of females, there were bitchy quotes aplenty.

The pick of the night was this one:
Colleague #1: How about Korean men?
Colleague #2: Oh, Korean men, no way. Korean men have small dicks. In fact, one of them apologised to me and said, "This must be less than what you're used to." The sad thing was, it was true!

This same colleague apparently ran a very profitable business while in college in some part of North Asia, selling condoms to foreign men because the condoms sold in that country were too small. Everytime she went home she would lug back boxes of condoms, of all types and sizes, to sell to desperate foreign students. Hahahahah. I didn't know they came in sizes. Oh dear, to have to ask for extra-small...

And this one that came from a good friend recently:
"... and you're right, the guys in your life seem to be really... strange."

How diplomatic. I'd have replaced "seem to be" with "are" and in place of "strange", I'd have used "fucked up", "crazy", "immature" and "psychotic" in some combination or another.

QOTD

Today's QOTD comes from the one Italian dude in my company:

"Henceforth you shall all refer to me as WORLD CHAMPION. Bowing in my presence is permitted. Please avoid any physical contact with me as you are now mere mortals whereas I have been elevated to the status of demi-God."

Hehehe. Bragging rights for the next 4 years.

In other news, I've found a loophole that allows me to chat while at work. Woohoo!

Of Peeves and BQOTDs

It should be illegal for construction to go on on a Saturday morning. From 1000 till 1230 when I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed, my bed kept shaking every 15 minutes as some idiot decided to raze his house down to its foundations and rebuild it. Grrr. Not much fun when I only got to bed around 4am.

In other more light-hearted news, this BQOTD was contributed by one of the hangout buddies (HOBs):

Him: So, she said to me, "Oh I don't have your number." And I said, "No, you don't."
*extended silence*

Ouch. I feel for her.

QOTD

Today's QOTD, from when 3 of us were trying to pick a movie to watch:

Mr Picky: King and clown! Got cute girl!
(and then after a minute)
I take that back. Realised it's a pretty boy. Ewww.

HAHAHAHAHA.

B(imbotic) QOTD

Heard this on the radio while driving into work:

"I love men because they're men! They can be macho and they can do things for women that women can't do themselves! *giggle giggle*"

Fucking rabbit brain.

BQOTD

Today's BQOTD comes courtesy of Des:

When asked if the elections was exciting at all, Des said:

"Um, not really. I was more excited about my roast chestnuts."

Background: Des's just back from the US for a quick visit. And, she's a total foodie.

Out of Action

One long long week just passed, and now there's another long long week ahead. Last week's was probably more preferable since it involved major partying; this week I am in HK attending a conference. *yawn*

Right now I'm sitting in my hotel room waiting for lunch to be delivered, and then I'm off for 3 meetings. I'm so tired of working - I just want a break to recharge and relax but I can't take off for at least a month. Crap.

On to happier things: recap of last week. Major sleep deprivation with 4 hours of sleep on Wednesday, 4 hours of sleep on Thursday and 4 hours of sleep on Friday. Add to the mix the fact that my boss and my future CEO were in town so things were fairly dicey on Friday morning when I was struggling to stay awake the whole day. And, half of Friday night was spent running around trying to deal with 2 drunk guys (Air Force people obviously can't hold their liquor!) which was very stressful at that time, but hilarious now that I think about it.

QOTD on Friday night at MoS has to be this:
"Oh I know Snoopy... Hi Snoopy!"

- said Drunk Guy#1, to his neighbour's dog.

Hopefully this week will be a quiet one. I'm just going to hole up in my hotel room and rest, and declare myself out of action for a bit. Man, whoever thought a work trip could actually be relaxing?

QOTD

Today's QTOD comes from lunch on Sunday with the helpers from Saturday's dinner.

Helper #1: "I will now electrocute my own nipple."

The background to this QOTD is hilarious. Helper #1 was recounting experiences from his NS days, and he said that when you have 3 men in a room with nothing else to do, eventually they start doing crazy shit like playing with electric fly swatters. And when they start doing that, eventually the stakes get raised and they'll start doing bigger and better things. Macho shit. But very funny shit, cos in the end he electrocuted his own nipple on video, and for the next 5 minutes of the video he's just rolling on the floor going "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck".

HAHAHAHAHAH.

BQOTD

From an email conversation today:

"So, on Thu I was walking to my class and I saw this rather cute guy walking towards me. He was on the phone and I was debating whether to smile at him or not when I heard a snippet of his conversation that went "... project to spread the Lord's word..." I walked right past him.

Pity. He was quite cute. But give me a heathen any day."

In other news, apparently this year in the 5th month of the lunar calendar I will enjoy 桃花运. Teeheehee.

BQOTDs

Suffice it to say that much fun (and booze) was had by all who showed up at Rouge on Friday night. Thanks for being there, y'all.

Quotes galore from that night, especially as the empty bottles piled up.

1) Said my cousin, watching my sister and my brother-in-law dancing:

"Yup, it's official. We Foos can drink, but we can't dance."

2) Said my friend, who tried to use the excuse that there were too many people around to try to sneak off, and then when two of them got up to leave:

"Go? Go lor. Anyway so ugly."

3) Said I, who saw my friend's ex on the street earlier that night, and was trying to come up with stuff for her to say in case she should run into him on the street:

"Fuck you. You bastard. No. Fuck yourself. You're a piece of shit. Wait, no. You're worse than shit. You're the dribble of pee that comes after shit."

Teeheeheeheehee.

And many thanks to my family who had to stay around to watch me throw up; I really didn't know it was 0530!

Thanks for Nothing, Dipshit

Here's the background for the BQOTD.

A good friend of mine had a boyfriend towards the end of JC, and he ended up breaking her heart after about 2 years. Nothing new in this story, except that after that he turned out to be really lousy at keeping in touch despite claiming that he wanted to do so. And, he caused her a lot of angst because of that.

So, recently she was clearing out her stuff and she found a present from him, and she was wondering what to do with it so she sent out an email to a couple of us to get our opinions. Most people reacted rationally and actually analysed the situation, coming up with options like "If you want it to remember him by, then keep it. If you can remember him without a physical object then you can throw it away."

*yawn*

My reply:

"Burn the fucking thing. Preferably at the stroke of midnight on some dark and stormy night, along with all the other crap he gave you. And if you can dance around the flaming bucket chanting a hex (or a few), that would be better still.

Either that or send it back to him with a simple 'Thanks for nothing, dipshit.'"

My friend is often puzzled as to why I dislike her ex that much. He's actually a nice guy, and I know that personally since we all have common friends. The thing is, she's one of the strongest persons I know and I don't think I've ever seen her cry except for that one time, which I suppose only goes to show how much he must have hurt her. That is the key reason why I'll never forgive the fucker, even though I know he's a good person who just didn't handle the breakup very well.

So the moral of this story is, don't mess with my friends.

Addendum: And don't mess with my family either.

Miscellaneous Stuff

Just a few random thoughts that I've been meaning to blog about.

1) QOTD:
After meeting one of the big kahunas in the company, I mentioned to my dad that one of the topics the big kahuna and I had chatted about was about hiring people. The big kahuna said that his principle was to always hire people smarter than him, else you would just waste time managing people rather than letting them work and create value. Whereupon my dad said:

"No wonder I cannot find anyone to work for me."

Hahahahahah. My dad is such a joker.

2) My friend (you know who you are) just told me that she thinks I'm weird. I am the most normal person I know, so this statement has totally taken me by surprise. Am I really weird???

3) I don't know why but recently I've been smiling at strange kids. Just cos they look cute. Shoot me, shoot me now.

4) 1589 emails!

5)And finally...

Happy birthday to you
You were born in a zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too!

Happy birthday to my bestest sis!

Peas! Peas!

Just back from the Black Eyed Peas concert. All in all, pretty good except that they were on stage for just over an hour. And, they made us wait an hour for them to start. The three girls in front of us, none of whom could have been more than 10 years old, nearly had heart attacks from screaming "We want our Black Eyed Peas" the whole time.

I'm in such a bitchy mood today. I think Nat brings out the bitch in me - while hanging out at the concert she spotted this chick who was wearing an empire-waist top and asked: "Is she pregnant?"

To which I replied: "No, she's just fat."

And then there was the whole SMS conversation in the car with PJ where he wanted to know where we were.

Us: Mobil
PJ: Many Mobils
Us: The one that we just passed, right before the one that's coming up across the road.

Yeah it loses a lot in blogging but trust me, it was hilarious while we were in the car.

And, finally... is CTG a medium or a large???

BQOTD

My office has a male-female ratio of 1: 4. Before you guys start envying the one guy in my office, you have to know that of the 4 females in the office, 3 are married with kids. Many many kids.

Anyway, this BQOTD is attributed to one of my colleagues. The conversation in the office nowadays has become a lot more bitchy, thanks to all the estrogen floating around in the air. (I've told my sole male colleague to start taking notes so that he can write his future bestseller about one man going undercover to reveal what women really want.) Yesterday's conversation was no different, and it revolved around Filipino men and how a certain (middle-aged) hotelier was dating one of them:

Female #1: So is he cute?
Female #2: Well, he's not bad... for HER standard.

Oooh. *miaw*

In other news, 957 emails! Mainly cos last night my home computer started acting up (pop-up windows every 5 seconds is damn irritating, to say the least) and I had to get help somewhere.

Oops

This morning I woke up feeling really crabby and tired. Probably the result of sleep deprivation over the last two weeks, as work has just been fan-fucking-tastically crazy.

Anyhow, as I was turning towards the carpark near my workplace, I found myself behind a Mini that was going really really slow. I've driven a Mini before and I know that baby is capable of much much more than what that driver was putting it through. So I bitched and said to myself (I do that very often in the car, since I'm almost always driving on my own):

"You're driving a fucking Mini! You can go faster than that!"

And then I passed the car and realised it was my boss.

Weekend Update and BQOTD

Where did the weekend go?????? It seems like barely hours ago that I was packing up to leave on Friday and now I'm back in the office again, for yet another work week.

Couple of things to blog about:
1) So it turns out that the bet is indeed on me. I have 3 months to lose 3 kg, assuming The Bitch doesn't lose any more.

2) We're 6-0 for the season; the 2nd round of the tournament started yesterday. And for the first time in a very very very long time, I punched the ball past the pitcher (for a single) instead of pulling it down the 3rd-base line.

3) CTG seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Boohoo.

And for today's BQOTD...

The difference in weight right now between myself and The Bitch (I actually have another name for her but it's really quite bad) is 3 kg. Over a beer on Friday night with Nat, this is what I said.

"She's slightly taller than me and 3 kg lighter. The difference is, her head is empty."

QOTDs

Hardly bitchy but very funny.

The 1st QOTD comes from my dad, in the car yesterday with my mom sitting in the backseat. The background: my dad had been going on for a couple of minutes on various topics, and neither my mom nor I had been paying much attention. Finally I said, "Dad, no one is listening to you, and we can't even be bothered to respond."

To which he said:
"A genius is always lonely."

The 2nd QOTD comes from a recent dinner with some old softball friends, where one girl (a teacher) showed up thinner and fairer than ever. When she pointed out that this other guy (also a teacher) had also lost weight, he retorted:

"你晚上最好不要随便出门."
(loosely translated as "You'd better not go out at night")

BQOTD

It's been too long man... But after a nice dinner with some college pals tonight, I finally have some contributions to the BQOTD category. Disclaimer: none of these were contributed by me.

On a friend's attempt to grow a goatee and moustache:

"She calls it the isoceles of repulsion."

On hearing about someone else's new wife:

"But... she's a MAN!"

Also, a couple more photos are up from the wedding. Check them out; some are totally hilarious.

Snippets

Ok. This post is just for Nat, since she emailed me to ask if I had been so busy entertaining that I haven't been blogging.

If you must know, I haven't been blogging because there hasn't been much to blog about. Just a couple of snippets here and there.

Snippet #1, also the BQOTD: My dad went to the doctor recently for a regular checkup. If you guys have seen my dad you'll know he kinda has a belly. If you poke it (as I often do) you'll find that his belly is kinda hard instead of being soft and flabby. So anyway he asked the doctor if it was muscle (since it was hard) and the doctor said:

"No, it's just a big lump of harder fat."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Incidentally I've given my dad a new nickname - BBB. Go figure it out.

Snippet #2: So my boss asked me on Monday to have lunch with her on Thursday, i.e. today. This is the first time ever in 4-odd years of working with her that she's ever asked to have a solo lunch with me. I wonder if she's taking me out for lunch to tell me I'm fired, in which case the lunch would be a consolatory gesture. You know, like "I'm sorry you've been fired but hey you had a good lunch!"

For the past few days I've been going around pondering on the significance of this gesture. But now the lunch has been pushed back to next week so I have a couple more days of going around dreading my impending dismissal. I wonder what kind of redundancy package my company has... Anyhow, if I suddenly start showing up on MSN next week, it'll be THE sign.

Snippet #3: After the great dive trip recently, I'm going to organise another trip in early June, this time to Perhentian. All are welcome to come along!

Snippet #4: Apparently, lime juice tastes like Gatorade and tau huay tastes like oatmeal with syrup.

QOTD

Today's non-bitchy QOTD comes from this article in the NY Times, but first, some background information. In my four years at Cal I never ever subscribed to cable TV because I was too much of a cheapskate. Also, there was more than enough content on free-to-air for me to watch, so if I'd had gotten TV I could have flunked out. The only thing I really missed was not getting enough baseball.

But according to the article:

"Everyone who is going to pay for TV already pays for it... The only people without it are Luddites and people too old to appreciate it."

This makes me either a Luddite or someone living in a retirement home. Which I totally resent.

Addendum: Everyone who is remotely interested in baseball/softball should read this article.

BQOTD

Teeheehee.

I was surfing merrily merrily merrily along when I read this quote, which nearly made me spill my MacDonald's coffee, that came with a sausage McMuffin (yumyum) for the princely sum of S$2, onto my crazy laptop.

From here, on the new BMI index calculations which suddenly put half of Singapore into the fat-ass category:

... Not half as colourful as the way a reservist platoon mate puts it: Nabeh! Ang Moh always different standard! Pay also higher, BMI allowance also higher, Lan Cheow also bigger, fuck lah, like that how to compete?

Hehehehehe.

On another note, the lesson for today is that the MacDonald's in Ngee Ann City opens at 10am BUT it doesn't serve breakfast. So if you have a hankering for some artery-clogging-but-fairly-yummy-tasting breakfast, you'll have to trudge to Lucky Plaza. Or maybe Wisma Atria.

Killing Time...

I'm sitting in the office, wearing my suit, after a nice relaxing day at the softball carnival and waiting for my 15 minutes to start. So to kill the time I thought I'd get in some b-time.

A couple of weeks ago my sister (aka Fishkiller) decided to buy some mollyfish for her home aquarium, and I then told her that "Mollyfish" was one of my many many nicknames. In Primary 4, for some reason or another someone started calling me Mollyfish and that name kinda stuck for a while. (I'm not sure why they picked Mollyfish -- though it may have something to do with my initials -- but anyway if you guys are reading kindly refresh my memory.)

After my sister went to the shops, she sent me a text message which read:

"Your friends must not like you very much. Mollyfish is ugly."

Boohoohoo.

And how come there haven't been any comments since March 7th? :(

Cats and Caviar

Today's BQOTD comes from my boss, who was talking about someone she had met at a company meeting:

"You know, the kinda-Singaporean guy, slightly gay..."

And people still ask me why I'm single...

In other news, I made 2 types of vol-au-vents yesterday: cream cheese with chives and caviar, and crabmeat with sourcream and caviar. The objective of the exercise was to use up excess ingredients and help clear up the fridge. Vol-au-vents are basically puff pastry shells and they're pretty versatile cos you can fill them up with basically anything. I had made puff pastry a while back for a chicken potpie party so this was a good way to use up the rest.

Unfortunately my mom's digital camera was dead so the only photos I have are in my trusty, distinctly non-digital Canon. Again, if/when I get a scanner, I'll put the photos up. One comment that I got was "Yummy... Can consider doing it full-time..." so I guess the experiment was fairly successful.

Still Alive!

Rejoice, for I am alive! For now at least... There's another swim session tonight, damnit.

My distaste for jogging is an open secret. Now, of the three activities for the mini triathlon - swimming, biking and running, or in my case very slow jogging - jogging is my FAVOURITE. Which just goes to show how much I hate the other 2. Swimming gives me a headache from the lack of oxygen, and biking is just a pain on my butt (no typo there).

Ok today's BQOTD is kindly contributed by Des. From her friend:

"Des, my eyebags are so big and black they could pass off as Prada bags."

Wah, high-class sia...

Complaints, BQOTDs and more

Let's start off with the complaints.

Driving tip #1: If even a bus can squeeze into the space between you and the car in front of you, you have no right to be flashing your headlights at anyone who filters into your lane and even gives you ample time to react by signalling. Stupid grey Toyota with license plate number SFG XXXX.

Driving tip #2: If you're trying to cut across 4 lanes of traffic, and someone who's keeping in his/her lane toots at you just to let you know he/she is there, don't you dare give the finger. So thanks to the Indian driver of the dark green minivan outside Grand Plaza Hotel, you've just made my day. You stupid fuck.

Ok now that I'm done with my ranting, here's the BQOTD. Names have been kept secret.

Friend #1: So what are you guys going to do tonight? Make babies?
Couple-Woman: Har?! That will take half an hour. Then what are we going to do the rest of the night?
Couple-Man: *splutter*
Friend #1, #2: *snigger*
Couple-Woman: In fact, half an hour already very good.

Teeheehee.

Am off for a work trip today. If there is any kind soul who would like to surprise me and really make my day, he/she can pick me up from the airport on Saturday morning at 0330.

BQOTD

Today's BQOTD comes from last night's Manhunt, the male version of America's Next Top Model.

When one contestant got eliminated along with 3 others before the competition even really began, he said:

"What got me eliminated from the competition was... over-studly."

Teeheehee. Is that even a word?

But if you're in the market for hotbods, and guys who are half-naked for most of the show, look no further than Tuesday nights, 10pm on Channel 18.

Yumyum.

BQOTD*

This BQOTD is written on behalf of a friend who needed to rant, hence the asterisk.

Without further ado, I present...

Chiffons Don't Keep You Warm by my friend
My friend's mom had to attend a wedding dinner tonight and neglected to bring her matching chiffon shawl. En route to the dinner, my friend's mom (let's call her... Auntie) discovered the omission and called my friend (let's call her B) to get B to deliver it. B suggested that Auntie drop by B's sister's place to borrow a shawl as it would be on the way, but Auntie refused, saying that whatever shawl she could borrow would not be as warm as her matching chiffon shawl.

So, poor B had to drive all the way down to town (and she lives way way out, far far away from civilisation) just to deliver the "matching-and-oh-so-warm" chiffon shawl to Auntie. And she had to grin and lie through her teeth too, when Auntie asked if it would be a problem. FYI, the "matching-and-oh-so-warm" chiffon shawl was not only made of chiffon, but also had some sequins and 9mm of velvet trimming, which must be why it's "oh-so-warm"...

Don't you just hate it when people put the guilt trip on you? Moms especially seem to be expert at it.

Attention! Big Brother Alert!

Heh. Thanks to the help of a super-geek friend of a friend (who wears his geekdom with pride), I now have the ability to tell exactly how many people read my pithy posts, thereby setting myself up for major disappointment.

So come back often to boost my stats! And in today's BQOTD, which isn't bitchy at all but makes me chuckle everytime I read it, taken from this interview:

"You've never lived in SF until...
Like my friend Tzufen, you've witnessed an old Chinese woman non-chalantly snap the neck of a chicken on the 30 Stockton after the bus driver informed her that she couldn't ride his bus with a live one."

I'd like to get to that level of self-assurance and nonchalance where I too can snap a chicken's neck to get onto public transport.

Happy Friday!

BQOTD

This is fairly ironic coming so soon after my resolutions but maybe I'm just being "brutally honest" which is my get-out-of-jail card.

From the message I sent at the MRT station today:

"Ok this is way bitchy and breaking my resolution but there is this FAT chick at the station whining away to her not ugly boyfriend. And I'm still single!"

And, if a person is truly a lousy piece of shit then I am totally entitled to call said person a lousy piece of shit because really, that's what he is.

BQOTD

Today's BQOTD comes courtesy of Des.

Des and I have known each other from Primary 4, and we became close friends because we were the only two softball players from 4N1; the others were all from 4N2. 4N1 students sang Madonna songs; 4N2 students sang the Smurf song. Need I say more?? (We don't believe in school days, we want our Sundays, blah blah blah...) Anyhow, we invented our own games to play before trainings while the 4N2 students huddled around singing the latest theme song from the Ch 8 Mandarin serials. Our most famous invention: Carnival, where the object of the game was to try and throw a softball through a basketball hoop. Remember, we were midgets then (only 10 years old!) so the hoop was really tall. The game was called Carnival because we would do an inane running commentary, like "Step up step up! First person to throw the ball through the hoop gets this lovely stuffed toy!" And even now, we're still teammates on the rare occasions when Des can tear herself away from her beloved lovable loser Cubs and get her ass back home.

Anyway, I had to put her comment on BQOTD cos it was just too funny. This is her reply to my post on my parents' wedding anniversary, which "paved the way for the existence of my sister and myself":

"Gee thanks, Mr. and Mrs. X. You should've just stopped at one."

Har de ha ha.

Second BQOTD comes from my dad. Said he, to my mom and me:

"With all the time I spend waiting for the two of you, I could have built the Great Wall of China."

In other news, I'm off for my last work trip of the year. Woohoo. After that, bring on the holidays!! Fa la la la la, la la la la. Just a couple more minutes before I head home to pack. Back in 9 days.

BQOTD

Today's BQOTD comes from my colleague in Latin America. I've been trying to lose some weight, and I changed my MSN nick to Fatass to reflect my current physical status.

Anyhow, I was chatting with my colleague and I asked him to get me some dulce de leche (Argentine caramel spread that is really really yummy), whereupon his reply was:

"Dulce de leche is not good for your ass."

Har de ha ha.

Day 3 of Operation FatAss

It's been 3 days since I decided to start losing some fat. My dad is very amused that I took him seriously but whether he meant it or not, it was high time that I started toning up anyway! I've been letting things slide and now that the softball season has ended my main source of exercise is gone.

Anyhow, I've started a spreadsheet to monitor my diet and exercise regimen, and I now weigh myself every morning before breakfast. Thursday was Day 1, and I can tell you exactly what I ate. On Thursday night, I jogged for about 15 minutes, covering 1.8km. I am a slow jogger, I know. Grandmas with walking aids could cover more ground in less time. But still, it's a start! Based on that one jog I lost 800g. Tonight, I jogged for 22 minutes, covering about 2.6km. So hopefully tomorrow morning when I weigh myself I will be lighter than this morning! Jogging at night is way better than in the daytime since it's so much cooler and there is less pollution.

As for how I am estimating my distances, there are two ways. I either get into my car and drive the actual route, or I go to this site and calculate the distance from there.

Ok enough about the diet. It's been a while since I contributed anything to the BQOTD category, so here is one. I can't divulge the exact circumstances that led to this comment since it's too sensitive, so the full power of the quote is lost. But suffice it to say that this comment is about Person A, who is quite deluded as to the worth of Person B.

Me: "So, A said only B can do this task. I mean, how difficult is it to do? It's not like some special code that only B can break! I think A must be smoking some serious shit!"

The Wishlist Works!

Hey this wishlist-thingy works :)

I am happy to report my first successful wish - i.e. the complete (albeit bootlegged) set of The Sims, courtesy of Nat! Once again, (and I'm sure this will become a familiar sight)

THANKS NAT!

Cool...

Oh and here's today's BQOTD, courtesy of Nat:

Everytime I take the MRT I want to cry... Why are Singaporeans so damn ugly?! Sob.

BQOTD

From an email I received today:

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.

Why? Because women realise it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage...

BACK!!!

Ok I am back. And first I must thank Nat, the genius who, time and time again, has helped me to restore my site.

THANKS NAT!

So. A couple of things.
First, here's what I've been busy with.

Here's a chair... Here's another chair!

Yup, I'm been spending my time learning how to recolour objects so that I can have more choices when building houses for my Sims. I've also learnt how to modify objects, like slicing bookcases from 3 shelves down to 2.

Second, today's BQOTD comes from my pal Des, after I sent her some photos of the softball tournament:

Des: After all these years, you still look like the beetle from Super Mario Bros. in the batting helmet!

And in case you dunno which beetle she's referring to, it's Buzzy Beetle. Here's a pic:

Third: ossbay-omanway is ackbay! Boohoo...

Ok time to sleep. More blogging tomorrow. Gdnite y'all!

BQOTD

The setting: Last night, after dinner at my grandma's house

My cousin: Man I need a new handphone. Will you get me one? *Shows me his Ericsson T610
Me: Have you seen MY handphone? *I show him my crappy Nokia 3315*
Him: I think I better get you a new one...

Later on, he sees my screensaver, which is some crappy clip-art of a beach.
Him: I also have a beach! *shows off a colour picture taken by his handphone's built-in camera*

BQOTD

Wah, 2 posts today. I'm overflowing with creativity!

Anyhow, here's the BQOTD. Said I to the fat couple ambling across the road when I was already late for training:

"Try walking a bit faster and then maybe you wouldn't be so fat."

Yah I know, it's mean...

(Not very) BQOTD

Hardly bitchy but this snippet from the NYTimes made me chuckle:

"A couple of years ago she bought a cow with the idea of making cow's milk cheese, too. On its first day at her farm, the cow jumped a six-foot fence and had to be retrieved from across the county. So where is the cow now?

"Oh, Lily," she said matter-of-factly. "Things didn't work out. We ate her.""

Heh. I like how she named the cow and then ate the cow.
P.S.: The article's a pretty good read as well if you have 5 minutes to spare on cheesemakers.
P.P.S.: The Giants won again! *grin*

Just Bitchin'

So, I had lunch with Marie last Friday at Raffles Place, and it was during that lunch that I made an amazing discovery...

There are a lot of gay men in Singapore. And most of them seem to either work at Raffles Place or like to hang out at Raffles Place. Raffles Place is the gay HQ of Singapore, I swear.

The scene: 5 men, squeezing at one table at a trendy cafe.
Proof #1: One of them wears a TIGHT shirt. If I wore something that tight it would be branded obscene. The sad thing was, it just emphasised how scrawny he was.

Proof #2: Another wears cropped pants that are cinched at his calves. Come on. CINCHED??! And if you dunno what "cinched" is, well, it's a higher-end version of a drawsting. I wouldn't touch a pair of cinched pants with a ten-foot pole (in his case, it would be more like a 4-6 inch pole). It's like... an updated harem look.

Proof #3: A third guy gets up to buy a piece of cake. Which the 5 of them proceed to share.
5 guys sharing a piece of cake?!!? (Warning: Bad pun coming up) That really takes the cake man...
I mean, Marie and I shared a spinach quiche, a pecan tart AND a chocolate cupcake, and the 5 guys share 1 lousy piece of cake?! Plus it's not like they all had something to eat before that, cos I only saw one guy eating (yes that's how long we had to wait around for a table).

Other pieces of evidence: men walking around with pants so tight you can see the brand of briefs they wear. And low-waisted pants to boot.

No wonder why so many females are single... if they're not married, they're either gay or they're untouchables.
SIGH...

B E(ssay) OTD

So I was chatting with Nat today and somehow or other the conversation got round to Singaporean guys we would do:

So on my list (if I can think of any more I'll add it on), there is, in no particular order:
1) Vincent Ng - heartland hottie with a bod to die for. Qualifies as my dream guy since I did dream of him, once...
2) Benjamin Heng - cute in a kooky way, plus he has that bad-boy thing going on...
3) Qi Yiwu - needs to get rid of that Taiwanese (i.e. long, curly locks) look. But otherwise he's candy, candy, candy!
4) James Lye - who can resist that grin? Plus his bod's not too bad (though not as good as Mr Ng).
5) Shaun Chen - another one of those slightly bad-boy personas that I cannot resist.

Here's where it got bitchy. Nat mentioned that Christopher Lee was also on her list, at which point I said:

"Sorry, anyone who would do F (Are you my primary school classmate? No, I am your primary school teacher!) W is off my list. He may be fan-f**king-tastically cute but still... Plus, have you seen the hairdos he gets for those award thingies? I mean, it's bad taste compounded by even more bad taste!"

At which point Nat pointed out that this was not just a BQOTD but a bitchy essay of the day, hence the title...

In fact, this is how we got around to chatting about guys we'd do.

On my way to work today there was an interview segment on the radio with the new Ms. SG Universe, some 19-year-old with long legs. Anyway there's been a minor storm in the teacup with people writing in to complain about how the contestants looked and sounded. So today, callers were complaining (as usual) about how we should look for girls who were pretty and smart enough to make the nation proud blah blah blah...

And I'm sitting there thinking: Geez people, can't we just accept that
a) we're not even that well-educated as a whole;
b) effectively we're a nation of dwarfs, and;
c) collectively we're fugly!

Plus, you're making two key assumptions here, which are that
1) a female with the right mix of beauty, height (because there is a height requirement and because we are, as I have mentioned, Dwarf Nation) and brains exists in Singapore, and;
2) this person would want to take part in the contest.

At which point I mentioned some comment some celebrity made on the issue, Nat said she'd do him, I went "Him?!? Why?!?" and thus, a blog entry was born.

Anyway... I found one more icon! A grumpy ninja for Pet Peeves - took that from the Pucca site. That leaves two more...

YAY! It's 6pm! Time to go home and enjoy the long weekend!

Happy Easter! Not that I'm religious or anything...
Hm. I'll amend that.

Happy Public Holiday!

BQOTD

During lunch today with a good pal:

Me: Yah, this classmate of mine got kicked out of GEP.
She: Huh? People can get kicked out? What for?
Me: For being too stupid I guess.
She: Then how come Y didn't get kicked out?

BQOTD

From supper last night:

"Y is from GEP? Must be a control case..." (GEP as in gifted education programme for those not in the know)

Anyhow, I'm off to India tonight! 17 meetings and 3 internal flights in 3 days. Whoopee...

BQOTD

Two quotes today.

Me, during dinner:

"If X touched any part of me, I would cut off that part of my flesh."

Me, during dinner, about 20 minutes after the 1st comment:

"If X was the last guy on earth and there was no one else around for the whole of eternity, I'd kill him and spend eternity alone."

Hmm... I dunno why I dislike X so much. It's strange considering I've only met the guy a couple of times.

more quotes about X!

BQOTD

Ok it's been a while since I put up any BQOTD. Where are all the bitchy comments, people?!
Anyway this one was from last Friday night at a mahjong session:

Him: You know, breast reductions are getting more popular in Singapore.
Her (not me): Breast reductions? Must be for Singaporean men...

Speaking of which, man-boobs are one of my pet peeves. Ewww...

New Section!

Ok, since I am so bitchy I've decided to add a new section - the Bitchy Quote of the Day.

Today's BQOTD (ok I said this on Sunday but who's counting?):

"X is just a half step away from gaydom. Plus he's like a bullfrog, ugly and slimy."