Assorted Ravings of the Slightly-Weird

My Daily Prayer

We have two SBs in our office.

Now that you've racked your brains trying to figure out what SB stands for, let me enlighten you. SB1 is 失败 Queen and SB2 is 生病 Queen. Both of them are our secretaries, which makes it exasperating on almost a daily basis to deal with either one of them. One is totally blur and spends her time on the internet or flirting with the travel agent; the other is away half the time on MC because she goes to bits whenever we try to give her more work.

Case in point: The phone rings and SB1 picks it up. It's obviously someone she knows, because she talks to him for several minutes going over some details of an upcoming trip. Then she transfers him over to my phone. Since I'm deciding whether to pick up or let it go to voicemail I ask her who the person is. Her face clouds over and she says, "I don't know."

Hello??? You just spent 5 minutes on the phone with this person, the least you could remember is the name of the company?! How bad is your memory that you forget things three seconds after they occur?

Even goldfish have bigger brains.

Hence my daily prayer: Give me strength to deal with these idiots.

Flushed Away!

It's been a while since I last blogged so I thought I'd kick-start things off with a topic near and dear to my heart.

I absolutely detest automatic flushing systems.

How many times have you had water run up your behind just because you twitched slightly while on the can? These darn things are so super-sensitive sometimes that just the most miniscule twitch sets off the flush and before you're done, you hear a WHOOSH and your tush gets a wash.

Whoever designed it obviously didn't think. People are going to move around somewhat... Maybe you get tired of sitting up straight so you lean forward on your elbows. Whooosh. Maybe your phone rings and you reach over to get it. Whooosh. Maybe you... well I don't know what else you would do while sitting on the can but whatever else it is, whooosh. Your tush just got soaked. Again.

And then after that, this sequence of events happen.
1) You finish the job and you wait for the flush to happen and it doesn't.
2) You wave your hand around like a madman in front of the sensor, it blinks a few times and still no flush.
3) You look around for the manual flush but you can't find it.
4) So you wave your hand again, the sensor blinks in a knowing fashion and nothing happens.
5) You find the manual flush finally but it's so gross and slimy you can't bring yourself to press it.
6) So you find yourself pretending to sit on the can again to try and trigger the flush.
7) When that doesn't work, you walk out of the stall and just shrug/smile apologetically at the next person in line.

And just think, if people had the common courtesy to just flush the damn toilet when they're done, we would never have had to invent the automatic flushing system. And we would never have to endure the indignity of having water shoot up your behind.

WHOOOOOSH.

Swamped

I AM SWAMPED.

There has been so much to do these few weeks at work with results season being up on us again. Why do companies have to release results on a quarterly basis? An annual release is more than fine by me, thank you very much. All this focus on quarterly earnings distracts from the longer-term nature of investing in fundamentals and just adds a shitload of work for people like me.

Every week I've had to work on 4 or 5 results and there's been late-night calls or early morning calls. Calls past 8pm or before 9am and early morning meetings are just so uncivilised!

GRRR.

I've been so busy that I've hardly gone out to meet friends for lunch these few weeks. Instead of my normal leisurely 2-hour lunch, it's been instant noodles, sushi, Crystal Jade buns or a quick takeaway from the food court. And forget about shopping! I've barely seen the inside of a mall for the last 3 weeks.

Sigh. Ok back to work. Sian sian sian.

Oh and my 5 o'clock shadow is STILL THERE. Double sian. Guess it's just as well that I've been busy; then no one gets to see my freakish hermaphroditic 'tache.

Getting the Sniffles

I have been sick for half the year!

Ok, so the new year is just 17 days old which means that I've been sick for 8 days but still, in percentage terms that's 50%. Grrrr. Somehow or other I've been victimised by a flu bug that seems to be super resistant to any kind of medication I throw at it. Lemsip, Panadol, stuff from my wonder doctor... they've barely made a dent in my runny nose.

The only thing that's really worked is Vicks Dayquil/Nyquil but guess what? You can't get it here in good ol' SG. So if anyone is coming back from the US or from somewhere that stocks Vicks Dayquil/Nyquil, be a dear and buy some for me? My stock's running low!

*sniff*

Being sick is totally miserable, especially when you're not sick enough to take a sickie but enough that you feel totally like shit when you're at work. Grrrrr.

Ok, enough whining. Back to work :(

Late late late

Man... It's almost 7pm and I'm still in the office in London. How ironic, I hardly ever work late in SG but when I travel I find that I wake up extra early and leave extra late. Maybe I should be based out of foreign offices more often, that should do wonders for my productivity levels!

I'm in the midst of preparing material for a presentation but for some stupid reason the extra data port in the visitor office doesn't work and my laptop is wonky as well so for the better part of the afternoon I've been plugging and unplugging the data cables for the desktop and laptop that I'm working on simultaneously. There has to be a better way! (And I know, I should have just brought my thumb drive along...)

ARGH. There's just not enough time!

And, this is my 500th entry! WOOHOO :D

Letting Off Steam

ARGH.

SO BLOODY RESTLESS.

I feel like beating the crap out of a golf ball right now, that's how bad things are. Beating the shit out of a golf ball with a driver... that image just keeps popping up in my head.

Maybe I should go get myself a punching bag. I used to have one, when Esso had some promotion a long long time ago. It was in the shape of the tiger mascot (Eddie the Tiger???) and it had a compartment at the bottom which you filled with water so that when you punched it, it could stabilise itself. So fun!

Sigh. And then there's this, which was funny-sad at the same time.

Just Griping...

Damn it, I've got a splitting headache.

It can't be due to a lack of caffeine, 'cos I've had 2 cups of coffee already.
It might be due to a lack of sleep but considering that I slept 16 hours on Saturday, had about 6 hours of sleep last night and I've subsisted on way less sleep before, it's probably not it.

Maybe it's the oppressive heat. Oh, to be able to jump into a pool now.

Tech: The Biggest PITA

My computer's down again, because I followed the advice of the help desk and restarted my computer (IE kept crashing on me). Ever since then the damn thing's just decided to keep restarting on its own. Grr.

The good thing is, I have an out from work. The bad thing is, I need to look like I'm busy. Which is tough to do since the only thing I can do now is access email and the web from the spare computer. The spare computer happens to be situated in the worst possible spot in the office, with the highest possible foot traffic so everyone can see exactly what I'm doing. This sucks.

It's been 3 hours since my computer decided to go bonkers and the help desk has been suspiciously silent. If this isn't solved by 3pm, I'm taking off. (Yeah right.)

Woah. The skies outside are black, and the clouds are so low I could almost touch them. It's almost apocalpytic. I wish I was still in bed...

Oh, and I promised you guys pictures so here's one. Check out the sidebar.

Job Search Tip #1

The boss-woman placed an ad in the papers over the weekend to hire some household help. And for the past day the phone's been ringing off the hook as the floodgates of job seekers have opened. Since my colleague was obviously swamped with answering the calls, I've been helping out with some of them.

Word of advice: If you're answering an ad in the papers, make sure you know who the contact person is and what the job is about. And make sure you introduce yourself first, so that people know who they're speaking to. Throw in a "Hello" or a "Good morning" for extra brownie points.

Don't call and say: "Ah, you are hiring a... a..., you're hiring, is it?"

Dumbass. We'll definitely be sure to call you back.

I LOVE...

... GOOGLE!

The good folks at Google (despite bowing to the Chinese government on censorship issues) have integrated a chat function into Gmail. Now I can chat with my friends again! Yippee!! So all you folks who don't have a Gmail account, get one now! Then we can chat during work hours. Hehe.

Still zonked out from my India trip and the various activities over the weekend. 3 hotels in 3 nights, 2 internal flights and a combined 8 hours' worth of sleep over the weekend tends to do that to you, I guess. Unfortunately there's a pile of work to do but before I go, a spot of ranting:

If you have a question for someone, ask it directly! Don't keep asking me questions that I cannot answer. Don't bother telling me why you want to find out about a certain thing. Don't expect me to ask the other person, and have to explain to the other person why I'm asking. Just pick up your phone and ask the other person yourself. Geez. Stop using up my precious free msgs.

And FYI, explanations like "She wants to know so she can make plans with her family" piss me off even more cos if it's so important to her to know, she should go find out for herself. Grrr.

Stupid Spammers

Rot in hell, you pieces of shit.

I logged in this morning only to find 142 pieces of spam comments on my site, and had to spend almost 10 minutes clearing it up. Grrr.

And if you're going to spam, could you at least use proper English?!

Fuckers.

Pissed off in Frankfurt

I am so super pissed off at Latin American and German inefficiency. I have been up since 6pm on Saturday (SG time) and it´s now 3am on Monday and I´m stuck in Frankfurt.

It all started when I arrived in Sao Paulo only to find out that the stupid Lufthansa (suckiest airline ever) flight had been delayed by 2 hours, which would mean that I would miss my SQ flight and have a 9 hour layover in Frankfurt. Ok, these things happen, so I didn´t get too pissed. I got to Frankfurt (20 mins after my flight left) and found out that I had to go out into the main area in the airport to get my boarding pass. So I exited the international transit area and went to the SQ counter.

Surprise, surprise... It was closed. And there was no sign saying when it would open up, but the convention is generally 3 hours before the flight. So, I hung around the Frankfurt terminal (absolutely NOTHING to do there) for 6 hours waiting for the counter to open.

Finally, at 1840 German time the counters opened up and I went ahead to check in. Whereupon I found out that the stupid Brazilian bimbo in Sao Paulo had booked me in economy, whereas I had a business-class reservation beforehand, and neglected to inform me.

And Lufthansa refused to put me in business class on their flight to Singapore because my ticket was an e-ticket, despite the fact that it was their "technical problems" that led me to miss my original flight. Somehow I don´t see the logic in that. But I was too tired and stressed out to argue cos seriously, at that stage I just wanted to get home. Economy class, luggage hold, anything; as long as I get home.

So now, I´m in Economy but the very nice lady at the SQ counter (that is why SQ is the number 1 airline in the world) put me in an aisle seat and blocked off the other 2 seats so I can have a good rest.

With any luck, I will be home FORTY FIVE hours after the trip began with a 3-hr bus ride to Rio de Janeiro. This has, without doubt, been the worst fucking trip ever.

Conclusions:
1) WORST FUCKING TRIP EVER. (Yes, it has to be said again.)
2) Brazil - not worth the fucking long trip.
3) Lufthansa - worst fucking airline ever.
4) German inefficiency was probably one of the contributing factors to them losing TWO world wars in one century. (Am I getting my history right? Who cares? I´m pissed off.)
5) Lufthansa is going to get a very nasty letter from me when I get back.
6) Brazilian inefficiency and stupidity is the key reason why their economy is in the dumps despite all their natural resources.

And lastly...

7) FUCKING USELESS GERMAN AND BRAZILIAN PIECES OF SHIT.

Shew. That felt good.

Day 3: Scrabby Gets Super Pissed Off

Man. How is that a grown man can be such a baby sometimes?!?! I'm so pissed off now that even though I have to prepare for my meetings later I need to take a break to bitch.

The whole reason for coming on this trip was because this one guy (call him Fucking Idiot from now on) was coming to Asia on a trip to visit Disneyland (Disneyland!??! Give me a break) etc and decided to extend his stay. So, he made me arrange all the meetings which got screwed up but got fixed somewhat in the end. And, he's making me run all the meetings even though I've just met 3 of the companies recently so I'm going to have to look like an idiot asking all the same questions all over again.

Now, he's treating me like his secretary by asking me to "make sure [his] flights are done". Fucking idiot. NB CB. How the hell do I do that from here, and can't he lift a finger to check his own flight reservations? Plus, it's not like he's in meetings today and isn't free to do it, because he emailed me to let me know he's not feeling well and has decided to cop out of Wednesday altogether. Oh gee, thanks! So now I have to do 3 of the meetings he requested on my own.

I'm so pissed. I'm here at his request and even though we haven't met up yet he's just been giving me grief the whole time. He's a piece of shit, I tell you. If not for him, I'd be on holiday this week, preferably watching the Yankees play the Orioles in Baltimore this very minute.

FUCKER!

Mouthing Off

I may have severely blown my chances of getting promoted with a series of emails I sent last night but I was too pissed off to care.

The background:
Slightly over a week ago I sent an email out to the secretary of our team leader, asking what work I had to do for an upcoming conference call. I had also told them that today would be a holiday in a separate email. And then last night, I was checking office mail when I found in my inbox an email requesting me to hand in 5 pieces of research by tonight.

Man, was I pissed off.
1) I had already sent an email asking what work I had to prepare, way in advance and they only bothered to reply slightly less than 48 hours before the call. 24 hours of which I was going to be on holiday, and I was sure as hell not going to pass up my holiday for work.

2) When I sent an email to the secretary explaining to her that I couldn't hand in the work on time because it was a holiday, she had the cheek to reply with something along the lines of "I assumed you knew what you had to do since you emailed me a few weeks ago about this." Complete and utter bullshit.

3) Out of the 5 pieces of research I had to hand in, I had already done detailed work on 4 of them a couple of weeks back and presented it to the group. Why in the world do I have to keep presenting on the same companies, especially when I just did so less than 6 weeks ago and my views have not changed? How unproductive is that?!

So, after bitching to CTG (who unfortunately happened to be on email with me at that time) I sent a nicer email to the team leader and explained the situation. This morning when I woke up, there was no reply.

F*cking A. If you expect us to get our work in on time then you should also have the courtesy to tell us in advance what we need to prepare. Less than 48 hours, during results season, is not going to get you A-grade work. And a reply once in a while would be nice.

Anyway, the call got pushed back to a later date. My other colleagues should be thanking me for sticking my neck out and complaining. I may have used up serious brownie points man.

Ok. I'm done with the ranting. Oh wait, one more thing. Al-Ameen (opposite Beauty World) is now on my boycott list. The service is horrendous and a 25 minute wait for prata is just ridiculous, especially when the whole restaurant is only half-full. And, to have the gall to claim that service is slow because the place is "packed like the Padang", when it's clear to everyone that on any other regular weeknight there would be at least a third more people in the house, is simply a lie. From now on I'm going to Al-Azhar.

Luckily things got better later in the day. Winning at mahjong definitely helped, though I made 2 silly mistakes that cost me 20 bucks. TWENTY BUCKS! Sigh.

Happy National Day everyone!

Wanted: A Strong Cuppa Joe

Man. I worked till 2 am last night. Things in the office have just been crazy, with one person out on maternity leave, one new person joining and one temp staff that has to be trained but can't be because the relevant person is on maternity leave. So guess who's had to answer most of the questions and handle most of the requests??

Not that I want to be sexist, but now I really do understand the case for not hiring females because maternity leave really throws a spanner into the works especially if there's not a proper handover. Plus, there's some issues that you can't leave to a temp to handle which means other people in the office have to take on additional responsibilities.

Me so sleepy now... And in case you were wondering, no I didn't dream of CTG last night. Boohoo.

It's Friday Night...

... and I just got off a 90-minute conference call.

Man...

Isn't it ironic that I'm working harder than I ever have AND I am planning to quit?

Bitch Alert!

What kind of fucked-up individual goes around betting that she is lighter than other females?? Grow up already.

It's been a while since I have disliked anyone as much as this person, and negativity/bad karma be damned. From now on I'm devoting all my energy into taking The Bitch down.

Time to practise my submission moves.

And, I'm going on a diet just to make sure she loses the bet.

Foul Foul Day

Too lazy to re-type all this out so I just copied and pasted from an email I sent earlier:

Why today was a foul day:
1) I am fucking busy because of the stupid results season.

2) I spent half the weekend working.

3) I spent 2 hours of my life on some stupid letter for the stupid softball association last night and because I don't have East Asian languages installed on my home computer it took forever.

4) Since the stationery for the stupid softball letter is in the office I had to email the completed document to myself and print it out today.

5) Only I stupidly sent myself the .pdf file instead of the word file.

6) Then to discover that even if I had sent myself the word file I could not have printed it in the office because I also don't have East Asian languages installed on the work computer.

7) I had to hand write the letter, at least the parts that were in Mandarin.

8) I have 9 models to update, 6 notes to write and 4 days to finish everything.

9) My fucking computer keeps hanging on me (I think it's Excel) and I don't have time to spend an hour on the phone with the help desk while they try to figure out what the hell is wrong with it.

10) The Bloomberg add-in refused to work today for about an hour.

11) On top of that I had to take the stupid minutes for a stupid call which I have been doing for the past 4.5 years and you would think that once they got in some more employees they would at least rotate the job but NO...

12) Some stupid person decided to stay in a hotel that's 9 miles away from the convention center in LA and booked me in as well so now I have to change the bookings.

13) Did I mention it was results season???

14) When I finally left the office at 7pm, having decided not to take my computer home and give myself a break, I left my car keys in the office. So I traipsed back to the office only to find that since it's past 7pm the elevators have been locked down. AND since I have no elevator access card because a long time ago, some visitors to the office kept losing the cards and someone was too cheapskate to order more cards (damnit those things cost 20 bucks!!!), I had to go up to the 16th floor, go to the service elevator, go down to the 14th floor, all the while praying and hoping that the door to the 14th floor was not locked, and finally let myself into the office to get my car keys.

15) On the way home a bird crapped on my car.

NooOoooOooo!!!

The inevitable has happened.

They've blocked my web-based MSN messenger. And ICQ.

So, that means no more chatting for me during office hours. Horrors, I'll actually have to buckle down and do some real work. Methinks I will quit soon...

In other news, I'm up to 387 emails in the span of 4 weeks. Woohoo!

Movie Prices Going Up!

Driving into work today, I heard on the radio that movie prices will be going up from May 1 2005. Only 2 operators will maintain current prices (for now...) and they are Overseas Movie and Cathay, bless their non-money-grubbing souls.

For the other cinema operators movie prices are going up from $0.50-$1.00 depending on the time and day of the week. In a nutshell,
Monday - Wednesday: $7.00 (from $6.50)
Thursday: $8.00 (from $7.50)
Friday - Sunday, eve of public holiday and public holiday: $9.50 (from $8.50)

Being the cheapskate that I am (and here's a tip: Hold up your hands to the light with your fingers straight out and touching each other. If there's lots of gaps that means that you tend to spend money freely. Mine, of course, have no gaps whatsoever. Hahaha.) I refuse to pay anything more than the absolute minimum for a movie, unless it's a great movie or someone else is paying.

Which basically means that I will never ever be able to watch a movie in Singapore again because
a) Monday night is "Desperate Housewives" and Comedy night.
b) Tuesday night is training night.
c) Wednesday night is conference call night.
d) Thursday-Sunday nights are cheapskates-stay-at-home nights.
e) Who's going to pay for me to watch a movie???

Time to get in all the movies I can before the deadline. So, anyone up for Spanglish, Hitch, Robots, In Good Company, 3-Iron (no, not a golf show but a Korean flick) and The Woodsman (starring my fav Kevin Bacon)?

My Own Private Hell

The unthinkable has happened!

My MSN messenger at work has been cut off. Even the web-based version has been blocked. Oh woe is me. How am I going to spend the long lonely hours between 9am and 6pm every Monday to Friday???

I just hope they don't block off ICQ as well...

Complaints, BQOTDs and more

Let's start off with the complaints.

Driving tip #1: If even a bus can squeeze into the space between you and the car in front of you, you have no right to be flashing your headlights at anyone who filters into your lane and even gives you ample time to react by signalling. Stupid grey Toyota with license plate number SFG XXXX.

Driving tip #2: If you're trying to cut across 4 lanes of traffic, and someone who's keeping in his/her lane toots at you just to let you know he/she is there, don't you dare give the finger. So thanks to the Indian driver of the dark green minivan outside Grand Plaza Hotel, you've just made my day. You stupid fuck.

Ok now that I'm done with my ranting, here's the BQOTD. Names have been kept secret.

Friend #1: So what are you guys going to do tonight? Make babies?
Couple-Woman: Har?! That will take half an hour. Then what are we going to do the rest of the night?
Couple-Man: *splutter*
Friend #1, #2: *snigger*
Couple-Woman: In fact, half an hour already very good.

Teeheehee.

Am off for a work trip today. If there is any kind soul who would like to surprise me and really make my day, he/she can pick me up from the airport on Saturday morning at 0330.

USELESS!!!

What is the point of having a secretary if she can't even perform the simple simple task of taking down a phone number?

Only bloody useless secretaries can tell you that someone called while you were busy and, when you ask for the contact details, tell you "Oh I don't have her contact number." If that's not the primary task of a secretary I don't know what it.

Oh wait, I know. It's to play computer games all day in the office while occasionally lifting a finger to do a half-assed jobs at taking messages for other people.

F*cking useless piece of shit.

F*cking Spammers

I f*cking HATE spammers. There should be a level of hell just reserved for them.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure I ranted about this before...

Anyway, please go away and leave my little blog ALONE. It's too tedious to have to clean up all these stupid comments that these idiots keep leaving around; comments that are written in very very bad English to boot, making it doubly irritating to read.

So take your lousy English and your lousy comments that are trying to drive traffic to your lousy site and scoot your lousy ass back to whichever lousy pathetic misbegotten state/country/village/hovel you came from.

LOUSE.

How Not To Run A Business

If you're planning to start a business, take some what-not-to-do tips from this eejit. This guy is really pissing me off, and if he pisses me off one more time I am going to start spreading bad press around. For now he will remain anonymous and I shall just call him The Eejit.

Incident #1
My colleague (from another office) got married overseas recently, and she engaged The Eejit to do her wedding photos and video. Since I was going to meet her for a business trip, she asked me to help her bring the wedding photos over and I agreed. My flight was on Sunday and she told me The Eejit would bring the photos over to the office on Friday.

Friday came without any news from The Eejit. It wasn't until Friday night, long after I had left the office, that he called to say that, surprise surprise, he could not make it. (Duh. You don't say.) Anyway we made alternative plans for The Eejit to deliver the photos to me at my home on Saturday.

Saturday came and went with no trace of photos or eejits. Not a phone call, or even a message. Nada. On Sunday afternoon he msged me - yes, he didn't even have the decency to call me - and said that he was very busy and would bring me the photos at the airport. When I asked if the photos would be very heavy he said that they were not and could definitely be hand-carried.

On Sunday night, we went to the airport. There was no sign of The Eejit, so I went ahead to check in. Then, I still had to wait around for him because he was late. Finally when he showed up about 30 minutes late, he passed me the package, which was FREAKING heavy. (400 photos enclosed in an album is not light.) I had to lug the damn thing all over Incheon and half of Seoul before I could pass it to my colleague.

That he was so tardy already got me quite irritated, but what took the cake was when he thanked me for being the courier and I sarcastically remarked that I would get my colleague to treat me to dinner, he said and I quote: "Don't worry, I will put in a good word for you."

*major eye-rolling going on* Put in a good word for me?! He should have been glad that I didn't start yelling at him for forcing me to hand carry the bloody thing. He should have been on his knees at Changi Airport thanking me for bringing it over and begging me not to complain to my colleague. Put in a good word for me, MY ASS.

Incident #2
That was a couple of months ago. Two days ago my colleague asked if I could help bring the wedding dvd over since I would be travelling in a few weeks' time, and I agreed again. Now this time, The Eejit was supposed to bring it to my office today, but he actually managed to get in touch earlier to ask if I could go pick it up instead. My reply was that I was extremely busy so I would not be able to pick it up. His subsequent reply (and this is what has gotten me really pissed off, enough to blog about it) was:

"I'm also having shoots everyday so it's quite difficult to deliver. Maybe you can send a courier over to collect?"

PLEASE.

1) I am doing you a favour by agreeing to bring it over. Delivery of the product is your responsibility; it is not mine nor my colleague's. Since I'm already doing you a favour, the least you could do is to bring it over to me. You should not even expect me to go over and pick it up.

2) To ask me to send a courier over is just ridiculous. That's just compounding the error. If you want it to be couriered, you should be the one getting the courier to send it over. Why should I go to the trouble and expense of getting something that you should be sending to me?

3) Between today and November 24th, which is when I am leaving, there are 13 working days, and I'm not counting Saturdays. Please don't tell me that you cannot find 30 minutes to drive over and drop the damn thing off.

4) In fact, in 13 working days you could have mailed the damn thing around the world, much less to another address in Singapore. Surely you can find the time to bung the DVD into an envelope and mail it??

What kind of company does he think he is running?! The level of customer service, or rather the total lack of it, is just appalling. If The Eejit pisses me off one more time I promise I will publish his company name here, and tell all my soon-to-be-married friends, of which I have a ton, not to use his services.

DUMBASS.

Dude, Where's My Apology?

Over the weekend I played in a softball friendly. It was a pretty routine game, except that I got kicked in the face as I was running back to 2nd base to avoid getting doubled out.

I guess it could have been much worse since the opponent was wearing metal cleats. I could have gotten cut or perhaps even been badly gashed - I've seen accidents happen before on the field where players have had to get stitches. So while I'm thankful that I escaped with a bruise on my upper lip (from afar it looks like I have half a moustache!) what really gets me is that she didn't even bother to apologise. How rude is that?! While I'm sure she definitely didn't mean it (basically she tripped and did a kind of bicycle kick to balance herself) an apology would have been nice. I would rant more but I've already had a day to cool down so I'm all done with the swearing.

B*TCH.

Ok, I was almost all done. Now I'm done.

In other news, it's my sis's turn to send her computer to the hospital. She attempted to install a new RAM card (what is up with RAM cards nowadays!?) and, in doing so, managed to screw something up somewhere along the lines. I would laugh but I already had a good 10 minutes of laughing while she ranted on the phone to me earlier today. Anyhow, I am reminded of an incident that happened to James Herriot, one of my favourite childhood authors.

When this incident happened, James Herriot was still a veterinary student. He had just attended a lecture on the anatomy of the horse and as he stepped outside of the college he saw a horse on the road. Filled to the brim with what he had just learnt, he stepped up to the horse to examine it, feeling very smart in his new clothes. After he was done, he patted the horse on the neck, whereupon the horse turned around, grabbed him by the front of his clothes, lifted him off his feet and started chewing on them. It wasn't until a substantial crowd had gathered that the groomsman, attracted by the commotion, returned and released him from his fairly humiliating (and no doubt saliva-drenched) stance. The groomsman then fired a parting shot: "Dinna meddle with things you ken nothing about!"

Which is exactly what my sister and I should do with regards to computers and RAM cards in particular.

C. R. A. P

CRAP

CRAP

CRAP

Pooey

Argh! Smelly aircon guy is back!

*choke choke*
*gag gag*

Is it too rude to go outside and get fresh air until he's done? And I wonder if he knows he doesn't smell too hot...

I am reminded of a TV show I watched a long time ago, one of those cheesy Fox specials about the worst jobs in the world. It must have been more than 10 years ago, but one image is sketched indelibly on my mind. Imagine an average middle-aged man, bare-chested and standing in a room. The room is bare, with white walls and bright lights such that everything looks very clinical. Then, a woman appears in the frame. This woman takes his arm, lifts it above his head, swipes something at his armpit and takes ONE HUGE SNIFF.

Deodorant tester. That has to be one of the worst, if not the worst, jobs in the world. (But apparently it's quite a high-paying job because you need a very keen sense of smell. And, sometimes the test subjects have to engage in strenuous physical activity to get the sweat glands all pumped up.)

Even now, whenever that image comes to me, I shudder involuntarily and gag.
Ewwww.

F**king Spammers!

I f*cking hate spammers.

I came back from training today with the intention to write up an urgent email. But first I had something to post so I opened up my site, only to find that some f*cker had spammed me. With 150+ comments!!!!!

Man... I had to manually delete all those freaking comments, one by one. I am so damn grumpy now, if I were a Sim all my status levels would be red. Argh.
So now, I have decided to close all comments for entries older than a week. Anyway, it's not like a lot of people were posting, aside from these f*cking spammers...

I HATE SPAMMERS. There should be one level of hell reserved just for them. And they should be condemned to repeat all manner of thankless irritating tasks for all eternity. Like REMOVING SPAM from websites. Either that or they should have to listen to "My Heart Will Go On" for all eternity.

Or better yet, they should have to have a mosquito buzzing in their ears, a mosquito that can't be killed. It'll just keep buzzing (and biting them) for all eternity.

HA.

Now to finish up the damn email. At 1-freaking-AM in the morning!!! Say it with me, people...

FUCKING SPAMMERS!

Technology Bites

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate computers?

I just hate how computers decide to act up for no reason at all, and how they continue to act up despite restarting. BTW thanks to the wonders of my technology team my computer takes at least 20 minutes to shut down and reboot. So everytime I have to restart my computer I waste at least 20 minutes twiddling my thumbs while staring at the screen.

So today, the computer suddenly went crazy on me. Outlook didn't work, IE didn't work and neither did Lotus Apps. So I restarted the computer but it still refused to work. I was forced to call the help desk, and all the guy told me to do was to restart my computer. So even though I had already restarted it, I had to reboot again and wait another 10 minutes.

BUT the thing is, the 2nd time around it was back to normal. Gawd, I just hate how it never works when I try it, and then when the help desk gets involved all they tell me to do is stuff I've already done and then the damn thing will decide to work. Making me look like a damn fool.

GRrrrrrRRrrrr.
Next time I will just restart twice.

On another note, I've finally upgraded my phone. Woohoo. Free some more... And I was forced to upgrade my SIM card so now I have space for 250 messages (as opposed to FIVE on the old card). Heh heh.

Two Idiots and Bad Karma

Buenos dias amigos! Feliz viernes!

But not to the two idiots who sat in B9-10, Cinema 7, Orchard Cineleisure on Wednesday 14 July 2004 at 2145h watching "Japanese Story". You know who you are.

Quick word on the movie: Touching in some parts, funny in others. Left the cinema in a contemplative mood. For more, visit the official site - RHS, under "Now Screening".

The two dumbasses persisted in talking through the entire movie despite my frequent glances. Plus the girl had a really squeaky voice. Man, if you're going to talk throughout the entire freaking movie, SIT IN THE FRONT. Where no one can hear your stupid comments. It pissed me off so much that as I got up from my seat, I had to turn around and give them the whole eye-glaring, head-shaking, eye-rolling, exasperated-sighing routine.

Dumbasses. People who talk in cinemas during a movie are now one of my pet peeves.

Anyhow, I'm now thoroughly convinced that someone up there didn't want me to bitch about the two talking idiots. First, the site went down and only came back online sometime in between 1am and 10am today. And then, as I was typing this entry somehow my coffee spilt on me and I had to run out to the restroom to perform emergency surgery on my WHITE shirt. Now my shirt is damp and I'll probably catch a cold from wearing a damp shirt in the coldest place in Singapore.

Damnit! I'm sneezing already!

Computer Woes

Argh. Latest update on my computer is that some f*cking a-hole hacked into it. Why anyone would want to hack into my computer is beyond me, but because of this one idiot, my photos are lost.

F*CKER!

I hope fireants crawl up into your d*ck. Hah!
And if you happen to be female, SHAME ON YOU! Go do something worthwhile with your time!

So anyway, my computer will be discharged from the hospital tonight, and you can bet your ass that I will be arming it with an arsenal of firewalls and virus-killing programs. There better not be a next time...

CRAP

I HAVE NO COMPUTER.

My computer is now in intensive care at the computer hospital... Sigh.
I'm now reduced to begging computer usage time from various people, like tonight, where I'm supposed to be hanging out with Marie but actually I'm just here to use her computer. Hah :)

I have no computer! Sai.
My games!!! What if Sim-June and Sim-Kim disappear? Then must redo every single thing. Double Sai.
And my photos, my lovely photos. Triple Sai.

Now I'm actually looking forward to going to work, just so I can have a working computer. Shoot me, just shoot me now.

A. R. G. H.

Why?

Why??

WHY???

Why do the Giants keep losing, and to the Dodgers and the Padres especially? What is wrong with them? Is Des sticking pins into all her voodoo dolls of the Giants team so that they can post scorelines like 0-11 (to the Padres) and 0-9 (to the Dodgers today)??? (But thankfully I don't have to eat dust pans!)

ZERO runs?!? What the hell is going wrong?! I must be caught in some parallel universe, one where the Giants keep losing (come on guys, a 7-12 record is fucking pathetic, even this early in the season). Even Detroit and Milwaukee have a better record than the Giants!!

Further proof of a parallel universe:
1) Boston just swept New York AT HOME. New York is 8-11.
2) Seattle is 6-13.
3) The Triumvarate of EVIL ie Boston, Chicago AND LA are all at 12-6. Methinks me smells a rat...

How can this be?! Someone, please restore order and bring me back to a world where the Giants, A's and Yankees should be leading their divisions.
Where Ferrero should be winning his clay court matches at least.
Where the Lakers crash out of the playoffs.
Where someone like William Hung, who has ruined the good name of Cal for all of us and is way past his alloted 15 minutes, should have faded into obscurity by now.

I now resolve to be a good person. To be a nice person. I will stop bitching if that's what it takes to restore order to this world.

Changing direction totally, I have now decided on which icon to pick for Photos. Finally :)

Argh...

I cannot believe that it's past midnight and I'm actually still working! Sian man...

There's just so much work these few weeks... Got conferences to attend, IPOs to go through, results to update (since it's results season) and 3 companies to initiate coverage on.

To use a new swear word I learnt from Channel U's game show on Monday night: FRANGIPANI!

And still can waste time blogging this useless entry :) I cannot wait for May 29 - Mauritius is the proverbial carrot on the stick for me, except that on May 29 I get to eat the damn carrot! Hah!

Crap!

Argh. Crap crap crap. The Giants got swept (stop laughing Des!) by the f**king Dodgers. At home too, in PACBELL PARK. Sai.

And, JC lost! :( He got as far as the semi-finals of the Valencia Open, only to be ousted by some little-known Spaniard 2-6, 1-6. SAI.

SAI. SAI. SAI. (translated as "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.")
Why do the higher powers that be continually test my faith as a fan??? No fear though, the Giants have at least 3 more series against the Dodgers and if the Dodgers can sweep all the series, Des, I'll eat anything you can throw at me. And for JC, there's the bigger prize of the Monte Carlo Open AND the biggest prize of the French Open. So, GO GIANTS! GO JC!

Plus, we're now at that delightful time of year in Singapore when it's freakishly hot. Everyday I just wake up all hot and sticky, and it's no point showering cos 5 minutes after you step out of the shower you just feel hot and sticky all over again. The only good thing is that my office no longer feels like the Artic because the heat outside acts as a counterpoint.

Time to brave the heat to grab some lunch. Ice-cold watermelon juice would be great :)

Addendum: It is HOT. At least 36C man... And to think there was actually one crazy guy jogging down Orchard Road at 1230. Madman. In the words of the Wicked Witch of the East, "I'm melting! I'm melting...".

Oh, also added one more icon - guy shouting down the phone for Complaint Department. This one I pillaged from Microsoft Office clipart as well. 7 down, 1 more to go.

I Need...

...to be lying on a beach with a in hand, not freezing my ass off with 3 layers of clothing and a scarf wrapped around my head, worrying about internet companies in China or Korea, or water treatment companies in Singapore, or other shit like that.

I need to be reading chick-lit that you can mindlessly finish in half a day, and magazines like my beloved and , which are gathering dust in my room.

I need sun, where I can come back a nice toasty brown, wearing my tanlines with pride, like veterans with their war wounds.

I need to be able to veg out as I please.

I need to go on a break.

I need this.

Who wants in?

Taking A Break

Gosh, I'm so sick and tired of working on this report. I have been living and breathing Chinese internet companies for the past 2 weeks and I am mighty tired of it. And the report - it's already 5 pages long and there's so much more to write that I've gone on a mini-rebellion and decided to blog instead. The worst thing is, I know that when I finally submit it, people will only read the conclusion and not the detailed analysis behind that conclusion.

Might as well rubbish up some conclusion and hope that I don't get asked any questions!

Anyway, current tissue count: 8 wads strewn over my table right now. WHY is the damn office so cold?! I'm fine at home but when I get to work my nose just starts running. I should suggest working from home for health reasons, but it's highly likely that my boss will counter that with firing me for health reasons so best to keep my mouth shut. I'm wearing a sweater with a hood and I've had to put the hood up just to keep my head warm (trivia of the day: you lose the most heat from your head) so basically I look like a maniac.

Ok time for chat with boss... later dudes!

Crabby Scrabby

I'm sick! Damnit. So now I'm crabby, grouchy, miserable, cold (damn the management of my office building) and caught up in a wave of self-pity. And since there is no tissue paper in the office I'm using paper kitchen towels to blow my nose instead. There's paper towels strewn all over my desk, and I'm just waiting for lunch time when I can pack up and go home and sleep.

I hate being sick. Especially when there's tons of things to do at work but I just can't concentrate cos of the incessant shivering and nose-blowing. I'd better get a MC out of this else the medical system here is screwed up.

At least the weekend was good :)

On Saturday:
Played some softball, and squeezed in some time for my game. Damn Nubians came with 2 warships and attacked my city but because of some stupid bug in the program I couldn't import wood to build my own warships so I had to ride out the attack and lost 1 dock, 1 storehouse, 1 fishing wharf, some houses and who knows what else.
Also had dinner at this Italian place called Cantina - well, not really dinner because I had lunch at 5 pm so I just nibbled on a slice of pizza and a little bit of pasta. But from the little that I had, the food was yummy. Definitely worth revisiting.
Ended the day getting slightly high playing this game called King's Court. VERY fun. Especially when you have rules like "only speak English" and "No saying the word 'drink'". The drunker people get, the more fun it becomes.

On Sunday:
Played more softball! (Softball ranks #1 in my list of favourite sports; next comes tennis.)
Met up with some old friends for dinner last night (trivia of the week: Prego is open till 1am every single day. Good for reunions with old friends where you can sit and chat till late. Food's only ok though.)

It's funny how one can have a picture of oneself, only to find that friends have a totally different picture. At dinner last night, someone mentioned that I have a "strong personality". Which is strange because I've never ever thought that of myself. I mean, with a group of friends that go way back, I'm naturally more relaxed, more loud-spoken and more opinionated. But put me with a group of strangers or acquaintances and I just clam up. I'm inclined to sit back and observe the group rather than be an active member.

"Strong personality" - I wonder if that's a good thing...

Anyway... in spending the last 10 minutes blogging, I've used up one paper towel. I hate being sick.

Grumpy Grumpy Grumpy

It's just shaping up to be a bitch of a day. I woke up really groggy, after about 6 hours of sleep. With only 4 hours the day before I'm really suffering from sleep deprivation. So I caved in and bought a 5-dollar mocha (5 bucks for a lousy cup of coffee with some chocolate!) from Starbucks, which I hardly ever do. At the counter while waiting for my coffee, I plonked my head down to rest and got a sympathetic smile from the girl who was making my coffee. Hm, at least there's still some nice people in the world.

Now, I'm putting together some reports for my upcoming trip so I've been printing out two copies of everything for my other colleague who's coming along. And some well-meaning but stupid person (sorry I'm just really bitchy today) took all my printouts and stapled both copies together instead of separating it into two piles. I mean, if you can see that there are 3 different reports of the same company but not see that there are 2 copies of each report then that's just dumb. Now I have to unstaple everything and re-collate and there's unsightly tears at the corner of the pages and it's just making me more grumpy.

So much so that I had to take a break and blog just to get it out of my system. The only good thing that's happened today (aside from the nice Starbucks girl who made me feel slightly better - there's hope for the service industry yet) is that my boss is away on a long lunch so I can either go shopping and indulge in some retail therapy OR I can take a nap.

And to think that the weekend started out so great.
Friday: A movie on Friday night, followed by supper with Flyboy (*GRIN*) and then a late-night (make it early-morning) card playing session.

Saturday: Hanging out with my mom on Saturday, and dinner with the family at a pretty nice bistro on Circular Road (Saffron Bistro, serving North Indian food. Pretty yummy but also a little pricey. Scores points for atmosphere, book in advance).
Then drinks with Marie and gang, hanging out with J and a bit of clubbing with Marie and same gang, before having supper and collapsing into bed at 0430.

Sunday: Tennis on Sunday morning, waking up at the unholy hour of 0830, followed by a bit of relaxing at my sister's (i.e. napping). Then a yummy picnic on my balcony - it was supposed to be at Labrador Park but then the heavens opened a can of whoop-ass and it just started pouring. So far so good right? Then dinner at Adam Road, where I just got so pissed off.

The thing is, I'm more pissed off at myself for being stupid than anything else. At least men can fall back on the traditional "dick-head thinking" excuse. As for women, we sit there and rationalise, exercise self-control and finally cave in. Gosh, we're dumber than men. They don't know any better but we do and yet we still make the same mistakes over and over again. I just hope the next time, I won't be as soft-hearted.

And as for Flyboy... if anyone else can make me ecstatic just by sending me a 2 word msg regarding supper, I will gladly forget Flyboy and move on. Is it stupid to be holding out for someone you just know will never say Yes, but whom no one can replace? I just hope when I'm 45, that I don't look back and regret my choice.

Ok. Enough blogging and ranting. Back to being my old cheerful self :) And it's definitely time to indulge in some retail therapy. Orchard Road, here I come!

Definitions

Geez, I am so pissed off. Imagine thinking you were friends with someone and then only finding out a few years later that this person actually had a bad opinion of you. And not because of what you did, but because this person had a strange way of defining things.

And FYI, here's what "manipulate" really means:

1) skillful in influencing or controlling others to your own advantage
2) to influence or manage shrewdly or deviously
3) to influence, manage, use, or control to one's advantage by artful or indirect means

Don't believe me? Check out this site.

In no way does the mere act of trying to change another person's mind count as manipulation. You have to actively misrepresent yourself for that to count as manipulation. Otherwise the next time this person tells me he wants to jump off a cliff, far be it for me to try and change his mind or, as he puts it, "manipulate him" into thinking it's a bad idea. In fact I'd gladly send him to the top of the cliff.

This just reinforces my belief that it's Flyboy or no one. No one even comes close.

More Ranting

Dinner tonight was a nice bitching session, which had been lacking in my life recently. It was great to sit down for 2-odd hours and just bitch, laugh, rant and eat yummy ribs. So I had thought that all the ranting was out of my system.

BUT...

Three things happened on the drive to my sister's place. The 1st was the worst so I'll leave that to the last. The 2nd was a red van that persisted in keeping to the middle lane, travelling at 50 kph on Bukit Timah Road. On the LHS, there was a bus; on the RHS cars were zipping by but there's always the chance that one of them might suddenly decide to U-turn. I think if a) the bus beside you is slowly edging forward, and; b) the gap between your car and the car in front of you is big enough to land a 747, then it's safe to say that you're driving too slow. Luckily I was able to cut out to the right and overtake the slow van - another car wasn't so lucky and the last I looked he was weaving to the left and right trying to find an open space.

The third thing that happened occurred about 5 minutes later. It's just a crime to drive at 30 kph anywhere. Especially along Bukit Timah Road on a Friday night. This idiot was going so slowly it was painful to have to follow behind him (unfortunately we were both turning so there was no way I could overtake).

Actually, bad driving I can handle. In fact I like an occasional bout of bad driving on the roads (not by me of course) because it gives me the chance to swear at the hapless idiots. Which I enjoy doing because it's a great stress reliever.

But what really hurt the most was when I went to pump petrol. As I was lining up at the cash register, the cashier asked which pump I had used and, upon hearing my answer, proceeded to say: "The maroon family car?"

Maroon?!

FAMILY CAR?!?!

PLEASE.

This is Sam. Clearly, Sam is a red CRV. The last time I checked, CRVs were still considered SUVs.

Humph. "Family car"!

Anyway aside from that, today was actually not a bad day. And a milestone occurred at work, when I spoke for the first time on the daily morning call about one of the companies I cover.

To quote Keanu Reeves:
"Wo-oohhh."

Dog Tired

I HATE pineapple tarts. If I never see another pineapple tart for the rest of the year, that's fine by me. 10 kg of pineapple paste makes a hell of a lot of tarts. The dining room is overflowing with pineapple tarts. I'm tired, I'm grouchy and I smell of butter. Gross.

Grumble Grumble

If anyone has played Legend of Zelda before (yes the big clunky gold cartridge) you should know who says Grumble Grumble :)
And BTW you can still play all these oldies with the magic that is technology.

But that's not the point of this post.

The point of this post is, you know how the whole of last year I was bitching about not getting enough travel opportunities? Well, I have been rewarded! I get to go to India next week BUT in a cruel twist of fate it's right before CNY. Which means that I'll be missing tuan yuan fan (sobsob) and only getting into Singapore at 6am on CNY itself.

With only 4 hours of sleep on the plane! Sigh... It's true what they say, someone up there gives with one hand and takes with the other.

Latest news:
Man... it's really biting me in the ass now!
3 cities, 3 days with at least 18 company visits.

ARGH

Man, 2004 is shaping out to be a horrible year.
I get a flat tire on the 2nd day of the new year, I have a runny nose, I have indigestion, there's nothing to look forward to but a whole freaking year of work stretching out ahead...

To say I'm mildly depressed would be stretching the limits of my optimism.

I'd swear in Hokkien but I only know 3 phrases so the only thing I can do is repeat them inanely. I think I'll just hibernate for a year. Wake me up when 2005 is here.

Post-vacation Blues

Sigh.
Sigh..
Sigh...

I could still be in Whistler enjoying the snow but NO... I'm stuck in an empty office, reading magazines the whole freaking day, chatting online and generally wasting time.
Plus, I had to endure a 28-hour journey home ALONE.

The injustice of it all!

Ok, now that I've got the grousing out of the way, here's my travel guide to Whistler.

Planning a vacation to Whistler Mountain, only the premier skiing/boarding resort in North America? Here's some tips.

1) If you're coming from YVR, take the Greyhound! At CAD22.50 one way, it's much cheaper than the other bus service (Perimeter, which costs CAD65 one way). If there's more than 4 of you, you could even consider taking a cab, which would still be cheaper than taking the Perimeter.
Also if you're planning a day trip to Vancouver from Whistler, take the Greyhound! It drops you right in the middle of town.

2) Book your lift tickets and rentals online, if you know exactly how many days you want to ski. It's cheaper than booking when you get there, plus the site (look under Links) has some great package deals.

3) If you love waffles, you HAVE to eat at Crystal Hut. Yum yum... Another must-try - Beavertails! At the Whistler mid-station. Burgers are always a good bet as well at all the eating places on both mountains.

4) Now that Whistler Village has expanded, there's tons to do after skiing. Plenty of hang-out spots and shops (my favourite shops are the shirt print shop i.e. SnoMotion, the clay painting shop and Cows, the ice-cream parlour). And if you're tired of skiing (as if!) you could always go snow-mobiling, dog-sledding (tried that this trip) or crosscountry skiing.

5) For those of you who plan to bring your laptop and NEED internet connection, try WhistlerWEB. Though it's dialup, it was still pretty fast :) And at 25CAD a week for unlimited access, it's way cheaper than using internet cafes.

6) Personally I prefer Blackcomb over Whistler, but I'm sure there's people who disagree. To me, Blackcomb has runs that are better laid out, and I never get lost. Plus for boarders there's a terrain park which is really cool.

That's about all the tips I have... time to start planning my next trip there :)
P.S.: I'm too lazy to put in all the links, but the Whistler link will have most of the information.